dragon boat

holy cow am i tired (still!) of this past weekend. the vancouver alcan dragon boat festival started on friday and ended sunday. did you know that it's the world's largest international dragon boat festival? i just found that out myself. as for my team, team apocalypse, we did pretty well for ourselves... we won silver in the second highest recreational team division. it was a great weekend, despite the stress of it all... i'll tell more about it later when i post the link to the pictures.

so much to read...

and so little time! there is just too much information out there. it's times like this i wish i could read faster... much like that guy on the speed reading infomercial. he just runs his finger down the page and he's done. PLUS he says he understands every detail of what he just read! my friend andy had some sort of reading product like that when we were in highschool. i wonder if it worked... think it's just a crock? but it would be SO useful!! take my daily interests for example. i have email that i read, respond to and compose, i like to read at least the front page of the paper to see yesterday's news, i read about more current events online, i write in my blog (not all the time, but i'm consistent), i tutor/teach kids constantly, and if i'm not already square-eyed from all that information, i like to read my book before going to bed. and of course i feel bad that i can't email back everyone that writes me, but let it be known that i at least read what they write. it's usually by then that i'm so burned out from all the words i see in a day that writing more is just torture. i should start typing with my eyes closed... if you can handle the typos. i can't wait til voice command technology becomes more refined and less expensive. forgive the corniness, but it'll be a sight for sore eyes!!

hey mer, how's life?

that's what everyone's been asking me lately. no one's seemed to catch me at a full stop for the last month... well, in a word, my life is BUSY. like i told my kuya, i'm kinda torn among three things: my job, my family, and everything else (all lumped into one big pile).

work is work

work is keeping me busy, but that's just temporary. it's report card season again, you know. you will not believe how many teachers know very minimal about computers, and typing is not a forte they all posess. the last day of school is on the 25th, and the report cards have to be entered into the computers/system by this weekend. that amounts to stress on them which, suprisingly, doesn't stress me at all... although, it's not enjoyable sometimes when you have to teach a weathered teacher how to save their work. you think they'd be as open to learn as they are to teach. some of them are just so cranky. whenever i encounter a situation where a bad attitude is involved, i try my best to remember it. that way, if i find myself acting that way, i can remind myself how stupid it looks from another person's shoes. it's just a theory, and probably a bad one, but i'm hoping to become a better person that way.

thicker than water

my family is doing fine. we've got lots of flowers, and my relatives are always bringing over food with their well-wishes. it's hard doing all the things i have to do, let alone the things i want to do when we have to make sure my mom's not doing anything but relaxing. and the relatives mean well, i know, but sometimes i have the feeling that too many cooks spoil the pot. one weekend a couple weeks ago, i went out for a walk at queen elizabeth park with jason. no one was expected to be here, but low and behold, the relatives came and a party ensued. it wasn't something that would have been highly recommended, but it happened anyway. everyone was fussing over anybody that asked mom anything, cuz "she has to rest! don't disturb her!!" it got hard to bear. as much as i know i should've been around, i'm kinda glad i wasn't. you know how family can be. i'd have probably gone crazy.

life?

i don't have time for an interesting one. i've got jason (thank GOODNESS) so he's what keeps me smiling mostly. i don't know what i'd do without him.
tonight is the big fundraiser for my dragon boat team. it's gonna be at daddy o's. this place has been renovated since it's early days of being big bam boo. it looks good... but i'm not too sure about the two cages with elevated podiums some girls choose to dance in. i guess that's what happens when your club also hosts "ladies night". hopefully, there will be some happenings worth repeating... then maybe my blog/my life will be a bit more exciting. strange, my entries used to be less mediocre than this... maybe someone stole my qi...?!

let's recap last weekend... before this one starts!

friday, i went downtown with mom. aside from running errands (ie. shopping), we paid a visit to ming, our jeweler. now, someone once told me that in life all you need is a good doctor, a good lawyer, and a good barber/hairdresser. well i can't help but think that a jeweler should be up there somewheres. it's just so much more worth it rearranging your old jewelry than buying completely new ones... at least in mom and my case :o)
anyhow, she had some of her pearls set in white gold. one cultured pearl was set into my lola's engagement ring band, and sized to fit my finger! i know this might be boring for most of you, but if you ever get the chance to see this ring, WOW is it ever beautiful!

an ice cold beer makes you wanna cheer...
(yes, i think i will start putting titles on my entries now)

saturday was my dragon boat team's first race of the year, and my first race ever. i was more than a little bit nervous about it... i was worried i wouldn't be loud enough, or that i'd fall out of the boat mid-race, or that i'd make us lose. but it turned out to be SO fun! it was like a track meet on water. although, getting soaked after our final race wasn't quite as fun as we played it to be (no thanks to darryl! you are SO going to get it boy!). but the salty false creek water stinging my eyes didn't matter. we won :o)

mother's day "lupper"

see, it would've been a brunch if we had actually had it before noon. instead it was a late lunch or early supper, or "lupper".
annie, bébé (a.k.a. rafael), and i cooked buttermilk pancakes and omlettes for our parents and us. it was hilarious trying to get bébé to cook with us. he's only 7 so imagine the excitement in the kitchen. tune in for a repeat performance this father's day.

i miss cali

i can't help but think how beautiful it is down there at this time, while up here, sun is quickly becoming a myth. monday was crazy torrential rain all day. by 9pm, there were power outs in many parts of vancouver... of course, the other reasoning could be because california has been sucking out all OUR electricity... what is up with that? i thought you guys were a rich state! freeloaders ;op

so i'm in the field of education... now, i know i can do it, but do i really want to do it? the idea of having a winter, spring and summer vacation is just great, and i must say, that is what first attracted me to teaching. of course, i was six years old. now that i've grown a little bit older and wiser, school is still school. i liked it when i was a kid, i liked it less when i was a teenager, and those who know me well can tell you how little i liked it in university. now that doesn't mean that i'm against teaching or education or anything like that. i'm all for it. it's just that i'd rather do something i like. i had to man the fifth grade yesterday afternoon when the regular teacher was called away. i am familiar with the class, and was prepared to have to deal with complete chaos. well, it didn't end up being complete chaos, but there were always the kids who were intent on not listening. boy were they in for it.

see, the fifth grade has a nickname for me: nice lady. some have even come up to me and said that they weren't scared of me. that kind of concerns me. does that mean that i have to be "scary" to be a successful teacher? by successful i mean getting the respect that all teachers should have from their students. after all, teachers are trying to teach the kids something that they'll be able to use sometime in their lives. it's just so hard when they don't want to listen. not only do you get a bit ticked off when they refuse to cooperate (trust me, teaching is a thankless job), but imagine having the opportunity to make an impression on a child's life and it turns out that it's a negative impression instead of positive. yikes, the repercussions could be severe!! i'm all for being a pillar of the community, but i am just not comfortable knowing that getting the kids to listen and obey means that you'd have to be some sort of dragon lady. well, i don't know if they were scared of me after yesterday, but the two kids that i had to give lines to must have serious hand cramps this morning. my new nickname: don't mess.

my goodness... i just finished catching myself up on my kuya gary's blog. i have so much to say about it! i can relate so much about a lot of things he's grown up with (mind you i'm only 2 years younger than him, so we did pretty much grow up in the same generation). oh no, i feel an essay coming on...

for those of you who don't already know me, i was born and grew up in vancouver. contrary to the popular belief that there's a plethera of filipinos here, the only ones i surrounded myself with (short of my ninangs, ninongs, titas and titos... but they don't count because they're adults!) were my godbrothers and godsisters. they are without a doubt the coolest flips i know out here. in school, i had two main circles: the "frimmers" (i was in FRench IMMERsion from kindergarten to grade 12... the majority of them were caucasian), and my chinese friends. neither of these groups had any filipinos in them. of course now my circles have a bunch of cultures in them, still with a big chunk of chinese, some caucasians, and a few non-chinese asians... and still not so many filipinos.

it's a bit weird if you step back and look at it. i know i'm not a traditional filipina (i date non-filipinos, i didn't have a "debut," i can't speak tagalog even though i understand it enough...). i really consider myself to be a canadian-filipina. i was brought up to believe that i'm canadian first, then my ethnic background. but it's not that i'm ashamed of my roots... it's just that i was born in canada, not the philippines. i was brought up in a canadian environment, not a filipino one. and even though my immediate influences (my parents and our close family friends) are all filipino, with their filipino values, morals and beliefs to impress upon me, they've taught this all to me but in a sort of adapted form from when they were young, therefore in a non-traditionally filipino way. they are all very open-minded and realize that bringing up a kid in the filipino way in a non-filipino environment would be difficult. as long as the kid knows to appreciate his or her roots, then i figure it's all good.

a really interesting part that got me was kuya talking about being "white-washed." now i've never considered myself to be that at all, firstly because i don't have enough caucasian friends that i'd consider completely caucasian. the majority of the ones i know are what we like to call "eggs." white on the outside but yellow in the inside. they all have a sort of asian streak in them. one who lived here all her life had to move to the east coast to go to university. the next time i saw her she was telling me how out of place she felt because there were so many blondes and no black-haired students on campus. it took a while for her to realize that she wasn't asian and that she wasn't sticking out like a sore thumb.

the second reason why i've never thought of myself white-washed was because, well, if you've ever been to vancouver you'd know. there's just a ton of asians out here! for example, my chinese friends totally thought of me as an "honorary chinese." i even picked up a few phrases just from being around them so much. i guess you could call me "yellow-washed" if there were such a thing.

i used to consider being called a "banana" was akin to being called white-washed, but not anymore. i've been called a banana, but not because i'm "more white" in the inside, but because i'm just not a traditional asian. i guess being a banana is not as extreme as white-washed. so i guess then me and my friends are a bunch of eggs and bananas.

although it could seem like it, i don't think i really have a problem finding my identity. i know my blood is filipino and i'm really proud of that. it's where my parents are from. but i am also a canadian. it's where i'm from.

last night i had such a blast. i went out to 'lil cin's" surprise birthday dinner and everyone was there! and it was sooo good to see the clan. i've only been the "honorary richmond-ite" for 5 years but the history i've got with them is huge. epic even! honestly, they're the high point of my post-secondary life. and despite the things that happen to each of us individually (family, friends, school, jobs... anything that keeps us too busy), you'll always know that it's impossible to lose any of them. it'll only be a couple months and then another big get-together happens. i think it's these things that keep us tight. besides, everyone's a unique contribution to our circle and i think all of us know that it'd be retarded if any of us weren't there. sabby and a few others realized how hilarious it was that there were a bunch of ex-girl/boyfriends at the table. good thing we're all good with it, otherwise there'd be some show... ;op

of course not like gossipping, er, um, i mean, reminiscing wasn't fun enough! hehehehe...
i'm just glad that i'm on our side and not on the side of anyone that would be dumb enough to mess. we'd take anyone and laugh them out of the room! we're not mean people, we're just tight. and it's not like we bite... well, maybe except for jac... ;op

so it's been practically a month since i wrote last. i humbly apologize to my faithful readers... if i still have any... if i had any at all!! ;op
but to at least keep up with that last entry, i did buy a dress. no it was not from zara (but that might change tomorrow). it's this cute lilac coloured sundress and i just had to have it. lucky for me it was on sale! and as much as i convinced myself that i wouldn't need new shoes with it, i just might look around...

and what else is new?... hmm... i got asked back to work at the elementary school for next year. it's really great... i guess. well, it keeps me busy. now i'm just worried that i won't be able to get my previous goals accomplished as quickly as i wanted to... like finish my degree. don't get me wrong, i'd much rather finish school than be stuck in a part-time job, especially since it feels like full-time with part-time pay and crappy hours. you must understand that with the elementary school comes the students that want to be tutored after school... some days i work from 8:30am to 8:30pm. that wouldn't suck if i were baking all day or something, cuz at least i'd be moving. but having to educate a kid requires sitting still and focussed non stop, not to mention getting the kid to sit still and be focussed. seriously, by wednesday, my adrenalin keeps me going til saturday morning when i can actually sleep in. depite me not being a smoker or a drinker, i think i'm just as unhealthy and abusive to my body as the next guy.

okay, so contrary to what i said before, i controlled myself and didn't go to zara yesterday. good thing too. i'm dying to get an ibook so i shouldn't be spending my hard earned cash on dresses that i look great in. there'll be other dresses, later on in the season when everyone is already set in the trend... okay maybe i can buy one dress.

speaking of dresses, penelope cruz has really great ones in that movie of hers called "woman on top." too bad that movie licked. if you haven't seen it and don't want to know what happens, skip the rest of this blog. but i don't suggest watching it anyways. this story is about a girl who needs to control everything that's happening to her otherwise she'll get sick. literally. she meets a guy and they get married but he's a real macho type man. he likes to be in control. this guy ends up cheating on her because when they have sex, he can't be "on top." i find that kind of weak but hey, i didn't write the screenplay. she predictably runs away and tries to start anew. macho man chases her down and tries to win her back and she tells him she doesn't love him anymore. i thought by this point in the movie that she was just going to do everything she wanted... be independant and all. and it looked like it was headed that way. but by the end of the movie, she succumbs to her macho husband's charms and actually goes back to the guy. it doesn't really live up to the title i guess. maybe it was a sarcastic title...

you know what i hate? i hate it when i'm just doing some harmless window shopping. if i go into it thinking "i won't find anything special" i ALWAYS seem to find at least one thing that i like. and not only do i like it, but it ends up fitting me perfectly, AND it always seems to look good. well, today after work i went to zara, my most favorite store on robson street. not only did i find 3 dresses that i like and look great on me (last time this happened was recorded in my november blog), but one of them was particularly gorgeous, and was only $69!!! *sigh* if only i had the guts to spend flagrantly. chances are i will drop by zara again, and i will rave more about it throughout the week.

AIYA!!!

so how do i look?... thanks to kuya for making my blog work again... and for putting up a pic of me so people can see me in my natural state (yes, phone and all!!). but why must it be THAT picture? as long as you're alive, that photo will haunt me, huh? curse you and your webcam!! ;op kidding!! but if anyone turns into stone, it's on YOUR conscience not mine!

anyhow, tonight i brought jason out to meet a few of my friends. we went to this japanese restaurant in richmond... the company was good but the food was debateable. that's all i'm gonna say about it because even the thought of complaining about the food quality makes me a bit ill. needless to say, i've been drinking gingerale since i got back... that was almost 7 hours ago.

earlier today i had to work at the college, so i was downtown. on my way back home, i was on the bus and it was packed. i was standing in the front trying not to step on peoples' feet or elbow them in the face. but there was this one man who just ticked me right off. he was standing behind me with his back to mine and he was leaning on me. yes, his ass was pushing up on me! YUCK. as if i were some sort of pillar to support him!! i was so not impressed but instead of shoving him off of me, i decided to move up a bit into some space that just cleared up. i was soaked from the rain and really tired so getting into a confrontation would just put me in a very bad mood. it worked out for me because aside from him losing his crutch, the bus started to move and he damn near fell over. i don't care that he was an old man and could've fallen on his ass. he was invading my already very small personal space. besides, it could've only been worse if i had more energy. i'd have turned right around, waited for him to fall, help him back up, then thrown him back down... "fallen and can't get up? well next time, i'll break your hip!!"

yesterday, i had some vietnamese food with sabby. gotta satisfy that craving! but anyone who likes it knows there's just something to that food. it's like drugs. you just crave it like a junkie wanting a hit. imagine that: "hey man, i just need a hit... just one hit of pho!" kinda like the mcdonald's french fries effect. you eat one then before you know it, you're friend's supersized fries are gone. i swear they must be lacing the frying oil with cocaine or something.

tomorrow... wait, i guess it'd be today.... anyhow, i'll be at the movies watching "enemy at the gate" with jason. oh yes, for those of you who have just started to read about my mundane life in vancouver, jason is such a great guy. i met him at the college we both work at and i had a crush on him since he first said hi (draw parallels to jerry macguire NOW). this is the same guy i went with to the van deusen botanical gardens when we jumped the fence. neil is his much cooler twin brother. now before anyone gets all up in my face about that last sentence, let me clarify. i say jason is cool, but neil is cooler. jason says i'm cool, but that annie is cooler than me. therefore, the "cool" twins hooked up and all is well in the world... well, all would be perfect in the world if the "cooler" twins hooked up but i'll leave things like that to the fates ;op ... i'm so excited to see the movie! i'll review it in my next entry. sleep right now would be good...

my eyes are still square from yesterday...

neil and linda invited jason and i to playdium last night. it's this massive arcade in the metrotown shopping centre. it was so fun! i killed so many bad guys with all sorts of weaponry... automatics, revolvers, sniper riffles, machine guns and tanks. soon after came the racing games. and then i had to play the dj-ing game to see if i could cut it on the one-twos. that i need to practice, that's for sure. but a good oldie that i always gotta hit is the dance dance revolution game. shoot, that game is just so fun. we all had a really great time. but was i ever braindead on the way home! i still can't hardly stare at anything for too long or else my eyes turn it into pixels. you gotta love the joys of computers :o)

it's so beautiful today. i almost just want to go shopping. i realize that living in vancouver, we're like chickens with our heads cut off when the weather gets nice. the things that have crossed my mind for ideas for things to do today were:

- clean my room
- do the laundry (which i really don't desperately need to do)
- surf the web
- eat
- go to the gym
- go shopping

all these things that involve staying inside. i really need to get into the outdoorsy mode. and it's not even that i'm lazy. i just don't have any ideas! maybe i need to surround myself with people who know what to do in the sunshine... or maybe i just need to move to a place that's almost always sunny...

6.2

that's the magnitude of the earthquake vancouver had yesterday. a lot of buildings swayed but barely anything broke. some people (including yours truely) didn't even feel it. i was with a bunch of hyper second graders at the time so i really didn't notice the extra movement. but seattle was a complete wreck! i think it hit at 7.0 down there. the "big one" is coming.

on a completely different note, i went to safeway the other night and i saw a girl that looked just like phuong! i was so shocked. i was staring at this petite asian girl, with a short haircut, wearing a long camel colored wool coat (it reminded me of phuong's camel colored "robe-ish" knit sweater), and these super cute shoes that have soles that look like warty bumps... you'd know them if i showed them to you. but my goodness were the ressemblances eerie! her height and build, the way she walked... this girl's lips even looked like phuong's! if i heard this girl speak, and it sounded like phuong, i would have totally gone up to her and said "hey, are you related to phuong?" creepiness.

it's such a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

today is the third, or even fourth day in a row that it has been just amazing weather for us in vancouver. with all this sun (and my allergies in full swing) it feels like spring! but i don't want to jinx it. watch, it'll end up snowing again by thursday. well, i hope it won't.

yesterday, i thought it might be a nice day to stroll downtown, with the sun out and all. but it ended up that jason and i went for a walk around kits... it's a fairly yuppy area, kinda like where my kuya lives in san francisco actually. it's near some (over-priced) shopping but a little walk from there gets you to the planet-arium (ever watch south park?.. hehehe funny episode, that one), a couple museums, and the area where our dragon boat practices are held. then we walked along the water, towards the beach. what's really neat in kits is that you can look right across the water and see downtown and the beach on that side. from where we were, downtown looked busy with people, families enjoying the sunny sunday afternoon no doubt. it made me happy that we decided to stay on the vancouver side.

today i should be at the college. i would usually go, but my head is just fat with pain. why i'm at a computer is beyond me. i should just be sleeping. but believe it or not, i am closing my eyes as i type... talk about skills ;op hehehe. the only thing that sucks about this sudden beautiful weather is my allergies. as long as i survive it with minimal drugs, i will be just fine.

aiya.

i hate not keeping up to date with this thing. now i've got sooo much to say!

okay, let's start from the night that i last wrote. i was over at jason's house tapping away while guests were slowly trickling into his living room. he was having a little get together and i was being a little bit anti-social. no matter. after the blog, i ran upstairs to meet some of his friends. then neil arrived. he's jason's cooler, better-looking, and more charming twin brother. and the fun didn't stop there! a few minutes later, annie and chris arrived. now imagine, two sets of twins at one party? yes it was entertaining. i was seated in between jason and neil and do they ever sound alike! annie was on the other side of neil and i think the idea of "stereo sound" was not too far from his thoughts. that was a fun evening. there's just no comparison to being a twin... people like us are just born cool.

on valentine's day, i had to go to the elementary school. oh, the kids were so cute! there was even a kid who bought his girl a huge heart-shaped box of chocolates, and his buddy bought a pot of tulips for the girl he liked! when i asked them if the girls actually liked them back they both said "yes, of course!" so i asked what the girls gave them, and they answered "well, we're too young for kisses, so they gave us hugs. big hugs." now, what can i say to that? these kids are in the fifth grade and are sweeter than the majority of guys i know!! if you are a guy who is having girl problems, and is older than 10 years, take note of this. you might learn something!
my highlight of valentine's day at school has got to be the candies and cards i got! the one i like the most was this cute card that had a bumblebee on the front and in a heart under it was written "BEE my valentine!". i just love that card! it reminds me of the simpson's episode where ralph liked lisa and gave her a card that had a train on it and said "I CHOO-CHOO-CHOOSE YOU!". hehehe that is just too funny.
but i must have had the best valentine's day evening ever that night. i spent it with my favorite twins, feasting on chinese take-out and watching the ManU game (which was horribly boring except for one or two minutes of it) instead of temptation island (which wasn't on that night... aw shucks. no, i am not a big fan, they are). it was a good, lazy evening.

friday night, i hit kits pub with jo and victor to support something that slips my mind at the moment, and it was fun. now, no offense to any caucasian people, but that evening was the "hip hop and r&b" night... and just watching them dance made it hard for me to keep my rythym! heehee, i'm just joking! it was just that i was on a dance floor with only 2 other non-white people. i think it's the area that the pub is located, but i really just felt like i was back in victoria (there is a higher caucasian population there than in vancouver... out of my experience, that is). after getting warmed up, jo, victor and i went to palladium. now this will be the last time i will mention myself going to palladium. the evening was nice, there was a lot of people there, and of course, the music was just sooo good. but i realized that i knew a good amount of people there. that is not a good sign for a clubber. for goodness sakes, i saw craig in the vip line! for as long as i knew him, he did not like clubbing at all. he hated it! that has GOT to tell you something. as jo foretold the first time we hit it, "i give it 2 weeks. after that, it'll be so mainstream and the crowd will consist mainly of children born in 1980. that's when it'll be over." so it is. *sigh*

but let's get back to updating. on saturday i went to a play at the gateway theatre in richmond called "mom, dad, i'm living with a white girl." it was a comedy but the ending was so serious. i found it almost extreme. i'll get into it in a later entry.

sunday was great. i got to practice calling for the dragon boat team i'm on. it was fun. i just got to sit at the front of the boat, yell at the paddlers to go slower or faster or at least to the beat of my voice. i'm pretty much the metronome. and i think i'm rather good at it. but after all, i AM filipina. we're born with rythym!

so my updates are getting a bit thin... sorry. i'm just sooo hungry now! i'll fatten them out later :o)

oh yeah, this is all updated for the sake of my kuya gary. happy now kuya? ;op heehee

last night was so cool. sabby, jac, angie and i went to the commodore ballroom (a really swish venue in downtown) to watch a band called soul decision. they're from vancouver and have really taken off in the pop charts. i would say that their music is best described as a good beat, slightly popular melodies with a bit of an 80's style. anyhow, i must admit these guys are GREAT live. one of the lead singers looks like brad pitt (or aaron in kuya's last role of film!) and could he and the other lead sing! aside from their own songs, they sang covers of duran duran, george michael, and of course, bryan adams (for all who don't know, bryan adams is another proud product of vancouver). us girls had a blast. too bad that after the mini concert, the ballroom went all pop clubbish. nothing but mainstream music being played afterwards. so at about midnight, the girls and i decided to leave to hit palladium. lucky for me i got us in even though it was past midnight, and even though it was fairly packed. i must say that the music was better the week before, but hey, i would still pick it over... well, there's not really that much to pick from. i live in vancouver.

ANYHOW, here's where it gets a bit interesting. i asked in my previous entry a question about what guys really want from a girl when they meet her. well, i found out the answer from the guy that sparked this question for me. as usual, i will not state his name but if he's reading this, he'll know he's the loser i'm talking about.

he was at the club and i really appreciated that he got me and the girls in, but once i got the chance, i asked him what his intentions were. he was honest (at least) and told me that he really wanted to get to know me... you know, like finding out my likes and dislikes, finding out what i do for a living, finding out how it is to make out with me... yes, he said that. i told him that was not my definition of getting to know someone (in particular the last part), but i told him that i thought he was a nice guy and that he'd better end the conversation before something makes me realize that he isn't a gentleman. then it went something like this:

"stop acting that way." he said.

"like what?"

he held my face in his hands, looked into my eyes and said "like a bitch."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"like a bitch."

"don't make me slap you..."

he took his hands off my face and held his arms out defiantly "slap me if you want to. you're a nice girl and i'm a nice guy, and i just want to get to know you. so don't be a bitch."

i figured i might have been being a little bit harsh so to end the conversation, i decided to be civil and comply. "okay fine, i'll call you sometime." (note this is me giving the ever so popular "benefit of the doubt." maybe he really wasn't a jerk and he just had too much to drink. maybe he really wants to just know me for me, and not want to get into my pants. yeah, MAYBE.)

he looked at me in an arrogant and doubtful way and spoke in a tone that sounded as if he meant to diss me. "yeah right. no you won't."

at this point i just about had it with this clown and put my hands on his shoulders and made sure i was at an arm's length away from him. "and you still doubt me" before he could say anything, i slapped him. "fuck you." and i walked away.

no it wasn't a hard one, but he got the picture. i think i was just tired of him talking like he knew exactly what i was supposed to do. he made me feel like he wouldn't be able to trust me with him, like all i really wanted to do was jump his bones or something. now, if anyone has seen this guy, "bones" is the word to describe him. he probably has a thinner waist than i do. and yes of course, he's ugly. so if he really thought he had a chance with me, he sure is a bit full of himself. and plus, nobody calls me a bitch and gets away unscathed. i just told him what i wanted and just because it didn't fit into what HE wanted, i am by default considered a bitch. my definition of bitch is as follows: somebody who feels the need to complain (or blame others) when they can't get their way. i think we know who the real bitch turned out to be.

i had quite a fun weekend. aside from clubbing two nights in a row, i had a really fun time yesterday. jason (this guy that works at the same college as annie and me) and i hopped the fence of a 50 acre garden in vancouver and ran around in the hedge maze they had there. he is one cool guy.

as i type this entry, i am still in pain from the previous evenings. i couldn't even go to hockey last night! i was supposed to go to sunpeaks in kelowna this weekend for some snowboarding, but i couldn't get out of work. even though i am dying to use my new boarding gloves, i think it's good that i didn't go. it's been a year since i've touched the mountains (and injured my knees), and now i know why the doctor told me that it was only a "maybe" that i'd be able to board this season. my knees are not holding up as well as they should be (but maybe dancing all the time has something to do with it). oh well. i heard sunpeaks was icey this weekend anyway.

ooh, one interesting part of my weekend is that i just found out that i have a friend that didn't cover "the trail" well enough for himself. it's in that friends episode when ross slept with the photocopier girl and he didn't cover "the trail" of people that might know about his little fling soon enough or well enough. rachel found out and she was quite upset. i think that when people find out what's going on with my friend, he is so toast. what do they call it? the shit's about to hit the fan?... hehehe.

before i go, i must tell you what has been on my mind all weekend: what does a guy really want when he calls a girl out of the blue just to "hook up for tea or coffee"? i can't help but feel that the guy is hoping for a little bit more. i want to know just what is that "little bit more"?

friday night i went to a night club called palladium. it was hip hop and r&b night there (and contrary to what kuya says about hip hop and fat girls, there were actually a lot of slimmer girls there ;op ) . dj vanzai was "tearin up van city" as the flyer predicted. this guy is from "sea town" (i swear who comes up with these names?!) and he was sooo good! jo, one of our girl friends, invited willa and i to go. i was so impressed by the crowd. i haven't gone clubbing to a place where people actually wanted to dance and have fun in such a long time. and the thing that shocked me the most was that practically two thirds of the place was filippino!! it was like all the filippino people in vancouver were in the club! but it was soo cool. there was barely any snobbiness that i've seen at other clubs like richard's on richard's or wett bar. of course, jo did point out that this perfect scene will most likely end in 2 weeks or so... when the younger crowd finds out about it and decide that palladium is the place to be on a friday night. there is just something about masses of people born from 1981 that you see in clubs.

last night we heard that the same dj was playing at purple onion. so of course, i went. and of course, they weren't there. the crowd was more like i expected a purple onion crowd to be like, lots of youngins and lots of people who can't dance. oh well. i've said it before and think i will finally stick by it: i will not go to purple onion if they claim they are playing hip hop. their dj sucks.

hehehe
so i guess this isn't the most tasteful way for me to express my happenings, especially the not so nice ones, but i will anyway. anyone who has a problem with it can kiss my ass.

the not so nice happening that i will tell to you is actually not so bad... for me anyway. for the person on the other end of the stick, well, i guess it IS not so nice. tough.

i guess this all started in the summer of '93. i was in a grade 11 physics advanced credit summer class. it was me and a few of my good highschool girlfriends that were taking it all together at our highschool, sir winston churchill secondary. there were 3 guys in our class that came from vancouver college, the all boys highschool. we got to know them and we all hung out that summer. some of us girls (yes including me) had harmless crushes, but no serious thought was put into it. i generally thought they were pretty nice guys. looking back on it, i still think they were fun times. then again, maybe i just miss the laziness of being a teenager. regardless, the summer went by and we thought we'd never see those guys again... and for the most part we didn't. except for one.

to keep it simple, we'll call him "j.To"... kinda like jennifer lopez' new nickname "j.Lo" hehehehe.

now j.To would be spotted every so often after summer school ended... at the mall, driving downtown, at the movies... pretty much anywhere. and yes, every so often if i did get to talk to him for more than a few seconds, we'd somehow manage to exchange digits so we could all hook up "like a reunion or something." well, he wasn't a horrible guy or anything. so i thought.

let's zip through from then to now. as of probably 3 years ago, when i was running into him at least once every summer, there was a weird cycle that was going on. i'd run into him, we'd talk over coffee or a snack, then he'd be calling me every other day, constantly asking me what i was doing on the weekend. i know this might sound vain of me, but i'm assuming that he was wanting to ask me on a date. most times i'd decline, so i guess i really wouldn't know for certain, but on the few incidences i accepted, i felt like he was trying to take our friendship to a higher level. after seeing him in person about three times -- running into him, having coffee with him, then finally accepting to go to some social scene with him -- i'd always feel this compelling urge to just cut all ties to him. there was just something too creepy about him. plus he's mayabang. so that's how the cycle would run, ending with me just not returning his calls and starting again the following summer with us accidentally running into each other.

i guess i was a dork to think that every year he'd be a bit improved, but he didn't and hasn't. i guess it was just too nice of me to think he would. so finally i did something about it. last summer, i swore to myself that if the cycle ever happened again, i'd end it properly.

so i inevitably ran into him sometime in the end last summer. we went out for coffee. we even went to a club i like called sonar. then the creepiness began...

he bought me a blue paul frank hoody that he knew i was going to buy. when i heard this, i figured i didn't want it that badly anymore. i didn't accept it.
he made me a mix cd that he thought i'd like, full of gushy mushy love songs. i liked two songs on it. but knowing it was from him just made me want to move to a different country and change my name. i tried to return it to him at his work, but he wasn't there. so instead, i gave it to sabby. she likes it good.
he invited me to "grab a bite to eat" with his friends, saying it'd be just a casual get-together. it ended up i was invited to a christmas dinner, and i felt like his date. i didn't like that so much.
all the while, he'd be telling me of the "hookups" he's got on almost any line of clothing i'd want. he gloated about how his uncle was going to buy some new bmw and that he was going to drive it down to cali for him or something. i wasn't listening really. either way, this part was a bit tiresome and annoying. something was going to happen soon.

when i got back from san fran this january, he called. i ignored. he called again. i was "too busy" to call back. yet again he called. my voicemail was on the fritz (thank goodness). then i finally decided to talk to him, but he says he had to call me back. that's fine i thought. then about 8 minutes later, i get a call from sabby saying that j.To wanted to meet up with her for some tea, to talk about me. then j.To calls me back saying that he's just gonna chill at chapters and read a few magazines. hmmmmm.

sabby tells me that his whole plan was that he wanted to "rekindle" any feelings that i had for him so long ago. the only reason why he never talked to me about it was that i never seemed to give him a chance to. ummm, let's recap. i had a harmless crush on him in the 10th grade. that was 8 years ago. he must think that he has a chance because i just got out of a relationship. i don't think so. to any girls reading this, let me give you a tip: ignoring a guy doesn't work if all he honestly thinks is that you've been busy washing you hair for the last 6 months. they just won't get it.

so tonight, i pretty much told him that he was a dork to even think he had a chance. i finally told him that he doesn't impress me and that if anything, he's only been successful in not impressing me. i think i might have been mean, but i also think that it's pretty stupid of him to think that i am just all nice.

okay... so this first week of having the household without the parents was a little rough, but overall pretty good. i've done some cleaning and rearranging, i got the internet set up in sarah's bedroom, and i even reset the fuse that blew in the kitchen. the only thing that sucks is that sarah is almost always late for school. it's not my responsibility to wake her up and i think she tries, but my mom and dad are always the ones nagging her to get her ass moving. i think she just got used to it. oh well, she's got another 2 more weeks. hopefully, she'll get used to getting herself moving by the time mom and dad get back.