i'm melting!! i'm melting!!
that's how it felt like up here last weekend... friday started out nice enough. sunny with a little bit of wind. tom took me to beau's photo to buy me and the girls some photo supplies we need. man it felt cool to come into the shop with my school supply list and say "hi. i would like all this times four, please." then i got to spend about 250$ on us... i felt like such a baller. too bad i'm not rich for real. *sigh* one day :o). that night i checked out the chinatown night market and this little "c-town urban dance off block party" which was also in chinatown. there was a dance dance revolution game contest, and some singing and dance performances. it was short but really fun to watch.

become the stick
saturday got hotter, and as most saturdays, i spent the afternoon indoors... arnis was good this week. i almost broke my knee cap by hitting it really really hard with the bamboo escrima stick. then of course was the trapping exercises which contributed to my new bruises on my arms... again. i think i have to hit the weights again soon cuz defending myself won't do me any good if i don't have any muscles. and i think i've got to practice a bit more with them sticks...

keepin' it g-a-n-g-s-t-a
that night almost felt like a clubbing night but at the last minute eddie was all "naah, skip it" even though we were the next ones to get in. we even got a good parking spot! well, you know you're "gangsta" when you can afford to be like that. most people would be upset if they had to spend any amount of time in a line up and not get what they lined up for. but not us! according to eddie, "there are only 2 kind of people in the world. haters and gangstas." which side are you on?... ;op instead, we decided to hook up with sabby and li and them to eat us some all you can eat sushi!!! yum yum. we were all SO full that we just headed home to sleep! it was good cuz at least i got some rest before the races that were happening the next day.

please don't feed me to the rabid killer seals!
sunday was cloudy... at first. i was on the water at about 945am and yelled my brains out. although i was worried about not being able to call a proper race piece, i think i did okay. the second race i felt better about even though we placed first for those first two races. the third race was a bit harder... to make a painful story short, i messed up the calls, and we got third... hopefully i wasn't the only reason we dropped, but i'm pretty sure i had something to do with it (my bad!!). well, at least there's 5 more practices for me to get it all right before the big festival on the weekend of the 22nd...

who got game?
sabby picked up nurse chris, eddie and ron and they came to watch. but when we were done we went to check out the hoop it up 3 on 3 basketball tournament... this is when the sun decided to come out and burn us as much as it could without letting us die. i felt worse for manny, jaywin and russell tho. they were actually playing in this scorching heat. good thing they had something to show for it more than sunburn and heatstroke... they got first place in their division :o). yay!

on your marks...
we were all kinda bored in between the games so we decided to take a little walk to chinatown. now, there is a part we had to pass through that i wouldn't walk through at a pace slower than a sprint if it were around dusk or later. we call it "cracktown". lucky for us it was 2 in the afternoon. so off we went to explore all the cd/dvd/vcd stores we could... some of us found one or two good movies for cheap (like the beijing bicycle and full throttle) and we got these cute little bags that fit the dvds perfectly... and one of us (NO names... *cough* ron! *cough*) found so many that the cute little bag was not an option... he got a big unsightly bag instead. hehehe... i really shouldn't clown though. he's going to end up leaving most of them with me!! yay! i've got movies to last me oh, say, 6 months!! ;o)

SOLID
and despite all the movies purchased, we decided to end the day by going to the movies... undercover brother was SOLID!!! if you're up for a funny movie watch this one. i laughed til i hurt. plus it doesn't run too long so it's perfect for a comedy.

it's the end?
no. i've got more junk to clean out of my email than i thought. found this entry... yes it's still about california ;op
enjoy!...

from the bay to l.a.
so saturday started off with driving from my kuya's place in daly city to modesto... man that was a long way. for those up here that don't know, it's kinda like driving from my house in vancouver to mission... yeah it took that long. but we made it... we got to ron's place at about 2am and two of his cousins and his brother were still awake, waiting for us. we unloaded our purchases, grabbed a set of clothes and our toothbrushes, then next thing you know, we were all piled into the van by 230am and headed for someplace near long beach...
getting to sleep was a little bit tricky. there were 9 of us in a minivan that holds 7. at first you'd think that 2 more people wouldn't be too bad. but for a 6 hour drive, it gets a little bit uncomfortable... long story short, i found myself very comfortable sleeping on the floor. we all awoke to a very brisk stop somewheres along our trip. we were rushed out by ron's mom telling us to "pick which one you like"... turns out we were right in front of a filipino bakery in delano. so we all piled out and walked in, excited to eat some pandesal or maybe even some ensaymada if there was any. i looked around and saw a bunch of breads and things i didn't recognize short of the pandesal. so we all just pointed to this bread that had the shape of a cinnamon twist, but instead of cinnamon was full of sugar. we were all a bit sleepy still, but wondering what time it was. the sun was coming out and it looked like it was going to be a really nice day... turns out it wasn't even 530am!! needless to say, we ate our bread and fell back asleep. we were at uncle richard's house by 830 in the morning and the house was already busy with everyone cooking food and setting up for the party. later in the morning, the house and food was blessed, and by then everyone was ready to go to the mall! well, at least "the kids" were. we really needed some walking of some sort after a long trip of sitting so we headed out.
we did a bit more shopping, then we all decided to watch a movie that night... too bad we all wanted to see different movies, but it was all good. sonder, ron and i went to watch episode 2... that is one cool movie! i think i'll take rafael to it. anyways, the rest of that night involved all of us being too tired to do anything else except for making fools of ourselves and karaoke-ing til the wee hours of the morning... good times!

bling-bling
ever been to a vietnamese mall? it's a lot like going to aberdeen or yaohan in richmond, but it's vietnamese instead of chinese or japanese. all i can say that is very distinct about it is that there was a heckuva lot of jewelry! it was like in disney's aladdin when aladdin walked into the cave of wonders and saw all the riches... and there were diamonds everywhere! ron's mom bought this really nice bracelet and was looking for a pinky ring, but she couldn't find one. now that i think about it, i shoulda looked harder for something out there because i can't think of anyplace here that could compare. oh well, just another excuse for me to go back!
to rest my eyes from all that glare, sonder suggested we look at the cds. we were browsing through the mixes and ron came across this one cd and asked me what i thought of the songs... i thought it looked good, so we got it... turns out it was this mix cd we were bothering a guy at this one shop in the great mall about. see, there was a store in great mall that was playing this tight mix. we were asking the guy at the cash what cd it was and he told us his friend burned it for him. we asked what the album was and he told us it was from his friend... i was getting a bit irritated cuz the mix was pretty darn good and i wanted it. so ron was all "i'll give you 20 bucks for it" but the guy said "no." so we were all drove (heheh that's slang for "upset") but we couldn't do a thing about it. so we left it alone. then we found it at the vietnamese mall obviusly burned from its original... and we bought it for 5 bucks.
YAY for cd burners and the desire to make a quick buck!!

and the recap continues...
here's the first part of my trip to cali... in a way, i'm happy that i'm finding these all in installments. a LOT happened... too much to read in a sitting. i won't be able to get any comments from you all anymore... well, for a bit anyways. some dork hacked into the comment page server and made it all retarded. we'll see what happens... til then, enjoy part 1 of the cali trip...

it's been a crazy week back from the long weekend... i finally have a chance to sit down and recap how the trip to cali went. man, was that a nice weekend...

burritos, ducks and sushi, oh my!
thursday, ron's mom and brother took us out to eat at mexicali... sonder was impressing us with his extensive spanish speaking skills... but somehow i don't think that only being able to pronounce the food names makes you an advanced speaker...
afterwards, ron and i hung out with his homeboys at the basketball court. they were so happy so see him! and on top of that, they are fun to just kick it with. i hope we get to see them again...
friday, ron and i were driving out to rasputin records and lo and behold, there were ducks crossing the street! there were theses really cute signs that had the sillouette of a big duck and three little ducks following it and at first i thought it was a joke, but they really did cross the street! too bad i didn't get a shot of that... after all that excitement, we hit the great mall... and did some good shopping :o). after being in milpitas, we drove down to san mateo to meet up with my kuya and his girlfriend at sushi sam's. that has got to be the best tasting sushi i've ever tasted in the bay area. and if any of you find yourselves there (it's on third avenue west) do try the sushi sam's special. it's bomb (thank's bev!). after eating, we went to back to kuya's crib in daly city to watch donnie darko... that is one crazy movie. and the rabbit really freaks me out. definitely a movie to see.

hello?...
okay, so it's not like i haven't been trying to update my blog... i'm just forgetful to put up what i wrote... see me do a "mass may update" today. to start, here's something i wrote around may 9th... i thought i lost this one...

sonar
that's probably my most favorite wednesday night club since i turned 19. it's consistently had the best hip hop r&b and reggae music for at least the last 5 years. and usually, you could get there at 11pm and still get in within the half hour. but last night sonar disappointed me (as well as others, i'm sure). wating in line for an hour there is not acceptable. then again, that vip line was crazy huge. the only way i could've gotten in was if i were rolling with a bunch of females... which is not possible cuz the only ones i do kick it with are SO non clubbers. oh well. my homeboy nurse chris kept good company as usual. we ended up eating at the wonton house on cambie and 23rd afterwards.
i think vancouver should have a club like this one i heard about that's in montreal... there's no line up, just the rope. what people do is go up to the bouncer and he will tell you if you are good looking enough to get into the club... now, i'm not suggesting this cuz i think i'd get in. i don't think ugly people should be seen in public anyways!... i'm just saying it cuz there were just WAY too many ugly people getting into sonar last night, and that's just wrong.

(bitter am i?! ;op)

passion
i'm told i have this in everything i do, no matter how bad i am at it... that kinda makes me feel good. especially since i'm feeling particularly creative this year, what with photography and music and anything i'm considering a "hobby" going on til the end of summer at least. of course, my friend jan has this crazy passion that only a red robin's chef can have. really, it's beautiful jan. keep up your good work. ;op

california
yay! i'm so excited. only 2 more days and then i'm off for the "land of the city of the crypts and bloods"... well, hopefully my trip won't be THAT dangerous, but it'll be fun at least. thing is, i've got so much to do before i go... aiya, doesn't it always happen like that? i really don't mean to leave things til the last minute... well, maybe this time, i won't stay up the whole night before like i usually do before heading south......

i just wanna love you...
i am going to bite someone's style. this person i know is doing what i shoulda done a while ago... she's taking a "sabbatical," as she likes to call it, from any sort of commited relationships. she's got herself all set, putting her foot down against any guy that wants anything more than being just friends, and at the same time meeting any "needs" needed to be met... she's got some skill. actually, she's just avoiding having a boyfriend.
i feel a bit more like cameron diaz in the sweetest thing... i'm just tired of "the game." yes my friends, the hat and cane will soon be hung up on the wall, once and for all... i don't know when, but hopefully i'll be able to retire from being the pimp that some of you like to call me.
don't get me wrong, i still like meeting people. some guys fall under the "he's so cute but so stupid" category, but there are a few guys i meet who are awesome quality people. it's just too hard to meet a guy and try to be their friend when all they got is dating on the brain (or worse!). and on top of that, you're the one who'd have to eventually break it to them (sometimes repeatedly) that you don't want them, so you're ultimately breaking it up. ooh, but it's the worst when they hear exactly what they want to hear, even though what you said wasn't even remotely close... you say "i'm not looking for a boyfriend right now" or "i don't have time for a relationship" or even "i'm not interested" and all they hear is "wow, you could possibly be the man of my dreams... i want to be your girlfriend, no doubt about it!!". and suddenly no matter what you do, it's interpreted the wrong way. like if you make any sort of physical contact, it's taken as a "sign"... be it you accidentally knocking his foot at dinner, or your arms sharing the same rest at the theatre, or even you feeling the sleeve of his shirt because you like the material (after asking permission of course). and don't even get me started on the non-physical contact! like if you look at him at all, he'll think "yeah, she doesn't know it yet, but she wants me."
after i handle this, i'll be rid of all of them (although i wish i could just get rid of the bad parts and keep all the good parts). then i'll have a fresh start and be able to have a "normal" life where nobody will notice me or ever ask me for my number or anything... maybe even have a few things go my way. right now, the only thing i'm happy about is that i can go into hiding (none of those guys read my blog... wonder how many would care?.. wonder how many can read?..) so i can spend some quality me time.

dammit, guys suck.

like woah...
it's 1:14am and i am SO full... i think i have succeeded in eating 3 square meals a day since thursday!.. i've had bistik, sushi, bagels, more bistik, grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza, sinigang (with lotsa hipon), ravioli, scrambled eggs, sweet and sour prawns, and some pho... and on top of that, i've snacked a LOT as well! what is wrong with me? my homeboy nurse chris tells me it stems from someone teasing me at the dinner table one day a while back. he said "someone said to you "marion you can't finish all that food" and you were all "yeah i can! watch me!" and you haven't stopped eating since." that was 2 summers ago! dang... as my ate winnie would say "ang sarap mag kumain si marion!" (loosely translated: "dang! that marion can eat!!").

so ron likes buying things online and addressing them to me. and the cool part is i always get these packages when i least expect anything. there were a couple mix cds from radio stations in the bay... a tshirt, tuque and apron with the words got adobo? on them (it's like got milk? pinoy style)... and today was the latest installment of things addressed to me... a couple books of sheet music! and not just ANY sheet music.. one was alicia keys and the other was the tupac shakur collection. yes, the tupac makes for an interesting sound... especially on the piano. but hey, music is music right?.. but yeah, thanks ron for brightening up my day. i swear he can read my mind ;o)

full moon
ever heard that song?.. it's funny how when you hear a song (especially one you like) you automatically try to relate it to your life, just to see how close it comes... kinda like horoscopes or psychic "predictions," even though the only predictions they predict are things that already happened.

dang
i just had one of them "reality realizations"... it's about my job (but i guess it could be for any job). well, in my case, i figure i am too inexperienced (or rather too nice) to do it properly. i get too tied up in the fact (or should i say dream) that i could make a change in the world... you know, help kids wanna get smarter. dammit, i wish i didn't worry about the children i tutor. but that'd be like saying i'd be fine if they grew up to be rude and impolite and close-minded... maybe head down the path that leads straight to everything their parents don't want them to grow up to be. if my sister or dad got a chance at doing my job, they would be quitting more than educating. i think that's where both of them are alike. they'd both say "if you don't like it get out" and not give two shits about what could happen to anyone else if you quit. not like i carry my job on my shoulders that severely, but it's hard to be in a line of work where you're just supposed to help little kids, but their other "parental figures" just seem to be countering all your efforts... wait have i complained about this before?...

choclair
this is one canadian rap artist that really needed to grow on me. he's got some good beats on this latest album of his (the memoirs of blake savage), but i still have a special place in my heart for let's ride from his last album. and that's all i have to say about that...

poppin' collars
yeah so my weekend was crazy busy... i really need to just learn how to sit back and chillax... well, it'll happen one day but not today.. or this weekend. the weather just started picking up today so, despite my allergies or any other medical conditions, i'm gonna go out and enjoy it. more about my weekend in a little while... yeah i'm just THAT busy ;op

this blog was especially updated for my kuya... happy?... ;o)

yay!!
now i have a comment system! now all of you who read this blog can identify yourselves to me!!

props out to kuya, randell and uigui :o)

k... let's see if this works...

i'm not normal. i thought i just had a breathing problem, but the doctor needed to check and see if there was anything else that could be contributing to it. so he took my blood to test, and luckily i don't have anemia. but now he doesn't know what the deal is with my breathing. tune in next week when i fill you in on the new prognosis!

going back to cali
yeah, i think so. in may. i'm so excited!! and my kuya had better not be out of town when i get there...

it's friday (hey!) and i'm ready to swing...
sabby and i got our nails done wednesday after work and talk about claws! damn our nails look good! my esthetician is awesome. but what a chore it was to get used to them. wednesday night i couldn't type faster than a 2nd grader, but now i'm back to par... tonight sabby and i are going to a dragon boat fundraiser. i think the team's called m-power... yeah, they got a bmw dealership to sponsor them. anyways it's at that infamous club purple onion that i'm always complaining about. well, at least the company is going to be good. tomorrow i'm going to take my little cousin rafael to watch ice age. we're both the last of our friends who hasn't seen it yet (funny, his friends and my friends are like 14 years apart!). then we'll eat lunch, then play some ps2... woohoo! talk about some good fun... and i just love that i don't work on fridays!

dammit
i can't find a working reblogger! i'm going to bed.

how come you don't call me?...
friday, i was doing my usual thing, trying to figure out which lakad* i should do first... i had the option of going to the arts county fair at ubc to watch swollen members, baby blue soundcrew and choclair perform, or to purple onion where dj jazzy jeff (yes, as in the one with "the fresh prince") was spinning, or to legends for the grand opening of this hiphop night (fabulous fridays). the arts county fair i couldn't attend cuz i ended up having to work in the afternoon... poo. and the peeps i thought i'd hit purple onion with ended up being too inebriated from the fair that they couldn't make it out. so my super crazy friday ended up with me relaxing and dressing nice so i could go to legends with sabz, rick and biggie. it wasn't too bad for the first night. it's a bit classier than the old starfish gig we used to always hit (good times, good times!). but even before that, palladium was the place to be... ahhh, now those were the days.
anyways, after the club, i pulled out my phone to check the time and what happened? the tip of the antenna broke off. i don't have to tell you that i own a startac. yes the antenna's crap, but i have to say that mine is one that lasted for almost 2 years. funny, i think it's just on the first couple digital startacs that the antenna is not as solid. at least i still have an antenna... now it's just stuck inside my phone. other than that, i really don't have any big complaints. i'll just have a harder time getting reception in those "barely there" reception areas.

(*lakad litterally means walk... in this case, it means plans ex. "anong lakad mo?" translates to "what are your plans?"... dig it?)

troubles...
i think i'm going to take voice classes. i've found that with my hopefully temporary lung problem i get short of breath most after i'm running or talking. yeah yeah, laugh if you will, but it's true. i just talk that much. the thing is, i want to have the right breathing technique so when i sing, i won't get so short of breath too. i came to this conclusion after i went to karaoke last night with the usual crew. yeah, my singing was pretty hurt for someone who doesn't usually sound so bad. argh, it looks like a long road for me... a.k.a. the girl who was built like a ford...

i g-g-g-got it...
k, i think that's the name of that jagged edge, jd and nas song... but yeah that is one good song. it's got that infectious beat that makes you wanna just dance. i was rereading my last blog entry and you know, the way i wrote it really reflected how my weekend felt. now that i got some music on, i think i can write a bit more enthusiastically. it's real weird how music can just influence your emotions so easily. well, it does that to me...
so yeah, i'm in the middle of discussing with ron about going to cali in may. well, i've actually had to discuss with several people about that... lots of us want to go, but we just can't get in synch (woah, i used the term "in synch" without having to refer to the boy band!). hopefully everything works out... we'll see. all i know is that i gotta visit my kuya out there. i haven't seen him since august and that's already been too long! i used to go down there all the time, but now time is a lot less free for me than it was last year. it's kinda sucky but i guess it balances out in other ways...

...
so this past long weekend was pretty sedate. i guess it being the holy-est part of "holy week" is the only explanation i got. i almost forgot that fun was supposed to be a big no-no for the whole week, not just from thursday til saturday. see, waaay back in the day, the thursday before good friday (a.k.a. holy thursday) was when jesus had his last supper, so we (as in catholics) have to be real solemn that day, cuz jesus knew he was going to die the next day... that being good friday, where we are supposed to not have any fun, cuz we gotta think about jesus dying for the sins of man. as my friend aimee put it "it's a day when you think about what you've done, and what you're gonna do about it." well, either way, those two days are the most unexciting, unfun days of the whole year for a catholic. i don't really mind it cuz it ain't so bad that we gotta just stay at home and chill... everyone lives such fast-paced lives nowadays, that taking a day or two out really doesn't hurt at all. besides, sunday was easter so we all partied it up. i got to hide eggs for a little easter egg hunt for my little cousins and some other family friends' children, then we all ate a big dinner. as for today, i went shopping with my friend ivan... i just bought a plain white gap t-shirt. i figure if i want to go clubbing, i usually just want to wear comfy clothing anyways. add some blue jeans and my cortezes and ta-da... another classic outfit!

YAY!
one night a while back, the family was just sitting around in the kitchen after dinner, watching some show. nothing too exciting. anyhow, we (the daughters) were getting a bit restless and were wondering when our friends would be calling to ask us to go out. just before we all decided to get up and leave, a hallmark card commercial came on that caught our attention. a boy went up to a girl in the playground and recited a poem to her. it went like this:

i place a kiss in both my palms
and hold them to the wind
in hopes that someday you'll think of me
because the kiss has made its way to you.

she told the boy that it was a nice poem, and gave him a kiss on his cheek... he then proceeded to another girl and started reciting the same poem.

my sisters and i laughed and laughed. we all wanted to use this poem for our valentine's day cards... but in our enjoyment, we completely blanked on the poem. so our dad said "i'll get for you." and tonight, just 5 minutes ago, dad came up to me and recited the poem. hehehe... my dad is awesome.

ooh ooh!..
so it's not quite saturday but it's close enough. i just read my kuya's blog and his girlfriend's blog too... you know, from what i've read, she sounds pretty cool (yes kuya, i approve). and i know some might think this as anal but i love that she has no grammar or spelling mistakes like my kuya sometimes does! it's so nice on the eyes. yes, the teacher in me is shining through ;op. but yeah, she seems to be having a good influence on him ;o).

anyhow, i just wanted all 5 of my faithful readers (wait... do i have that many?..) to know that i'll be off to the sunshine coast this weekend... a little bit of rest and relaxation and partying before heading back to school. *sigh* spring break is over so fast! and i am so disappointed in myself... i wanted to hang out with my ate winnie this week. sorry ate!!! i'm slacking off on my chismis (sp?) time with her!! i'll make it up to her next week i promise.

and to all of my pirates, i miss you guys already! come back soon!!!

i gotta make the song cry...
i decided to get back to listening to the unmarked cds... ron, if you're reading this, i just want you to know that despite needing to do some real work, i'm going to avoid it (yes, i aspire to be like you!! ;op hehehe) just so i can label these cds! yeah, i'm not complaining... i love listening to music ;o). i could sit indoors and listen to music all day... of course, the weather helps too. it's been hella snowing here for the last 2 days, so i really wouldn't be able to do much else anyways. and i guess me possibly developing asthma doesn't help either. yeah i'm pretty choked (no pun intended). i went to a doctor at a clinic last week and he said i might have a sort of asthma, but not like a real asthmatic's type of asthma. so this week i went to my family doctor and he was more sure that i "may have developped asthma" after the last virus or cold i got. boohoo. at least hockey won't be too hard on me anymore since it ended last sunday... but there's still dragon boating (maybe)... and dancing... and karaoke! man, all them activities that require me breathing easily are really making me want to cry...

mr.cheeks
i'm listening to a song by him... "mamma said mamma said mamma said mamma said mamma said..." yeah it's pretty chill. ron brought me like 8 unmarked mix cds this weekend so now i get to listen to them so i can label them somehow. i'm on my 3rd one, and i'm getting all into it now... the first ones were actually from the last time he gave me unmarked ones so it wasn't too hard to get through them... but now i'm listening to this one and i'm all "what? jay-z? then some nas?!" for real, if these guys were all together on tour it'd be harsh "song fighting." you know, kinda like j.Lo (in her ain't it funny remix) and p.diddy (in his i need a girl). for those who don't already know, check out the lyrics to them songs... it almost brings tears to your eyes... almost. but yeah, i wonder how ruthless it could get. wonder if it'd be like eddy and neo talkin bout mike... oooh, and neo, i still think your "plan" is pretty tight ;op.

you three boys take care...

big tings
so i am starting to get into reggae... music and dancing i guess. it's a nice beat. and the words are awesome: "bombaklat", "the original dondatta", "boom-boom", "bum-bum"... the list goes on. and those are only the words i'd dare to try and spell! the rest i have no idea what is being said. i think i might start trying to understand it. but my gawd how do them girls move like that?! i can only do the basic booty shake for like 10 seconds then i get a cramp. do i gotta stretch or something first? and on top of that, there are other moves... how the heck does ANYONE manage to do that?! i wanna learn the matrix. my sister keeps trying to show me, but i have a feeling that losing balance and falling is not part of it.

emotions...
yay!! i fixed up my archive!... i guess that was the kind of "active" activity i needed... check it out tho. i am SO cool ;op

okay, maybe not.

don't you hate it when you got so much work to do, but you just can't get yourself to do it? i got a bunch of things to do, work and non-work type things, but i just don't want to be sitting down anymore! yeah, i know. and yet i'm sitting at the computer right now complaining about sitting... i need to do something active, but non-productive. like going out and spending money on food, movies, shopping... but everyone worth hanging with is so not anywhere near me! you all know who you are!!

jumpin' jumpin'...
yay! i changed the template! woohoo!... k, time for sleep...

foolish... bouncin' back...
hey everyone!!... or should i say "anyone?"... ok, so me reviving this blog is way overdue. i've been busy... doing things that would just sound like a really long excuse so i won't bother explaining. neo figured out how to blog and i have to say that got me back into it... check his site out, he's a pretty funny guy. that's all for now... although, i can't go on without shouting one to my kuya... he got me into this in the first place. he's the coolest. hi kuya!! ;op

the fifth grade
so the fifth grade looked cool. they pulled the dark curtains and turned on a multicolored disco ball. the food of choice was orange soda pop and shortbread cookies that looked like witch fingers. but the best part was the music...
"it's over, it's my turn now, it's over, the game's shut down... sorry!.." they were singing. then i heard the familiar beats of one minute man come on... "HOLD UP! who's cd is this?" i asked. "mine," said chanella, who was dressed as a movie star "but they're all clean versions, mademoiselle marion. don't worry."... sweet. then jlo and ja rule came on. then a lil zane song. man, these kids had good taste in music! i walked in and i felt like i was in a club, but with cleaner air, no alcohol and a better tempered crowd. and these kids could dance too!! and i'm not talking "vancouver special" here... i'm talking c-walking and that! they are gonna be cool cats when they get big.

hallowe'en parties
... remember having them in elementary school? you know, when the teacher organized who would bring food and drink and music, so you could all have your little party in your classroom with all your little friends... well, yesterday was hallowe'en and since i really didn't have any work to do, i party hopped. here's what i thought... keep in mind this is all very exciting for the little ones...

kindergarten - lots of candy. it's like they charge up for all year on this day.

grade 1 - games like musical chairs burned off their sugar intake. good thing too. they,d end up a lot like the kindergarteners...

grade 2 - cookies, doughnuts, and cupcakes! these kids are gonna be fat... lucky for them i helped them out by alleviating some of that off their plates ;op

grade 3 - jello jigglers, bite sized brownies and chips. yummy!!

grade 4 - not much of a party. i didn't get much food either.

grade 6 - all they listened to was n'sync. they so define the meaning of pop. i got a bag of candy from them though.

note i missed the 5th graders. that's because their party has to be told about in great detail... i gotta get back to work though, so you'll have to wait...

i'm in a bad mood
so i've been told that i should be flattered that more than one guy wants me. so maybe i'd be flattered by one or two (at most!), but the whole mess of others, i just wish i was as lyrical as TLC...

Now don't get me wrong cuz I'm not a ho
But I know what I got you can't handle though
...
Nigga you must be crazy
What you gonna do with a bitch like me
I'm so good at being bad
I'm the best you never had
I epitomize the word sexy
...
Sorry I turned you out
I guess I didn't know
That a man could be so soft
Hope that you don't mind
I'm not the mushy kind

(from i'm good at being bad by tlc)

i guess i feel a bit better now... >:o) i think i'ma go shoppin'!

gold is for the honey
so last weekend, our "compilation dragon boat team" a.k.a. A.C. UNITED went for our first competition together out in kelowna (this is in a beautiful area of british columbia, 5 hours drive from vancouver, near lotsa vineyards and orchards. needless to say, the weather was awesome). we ended up doing really well in our prelims and qualifying races. and despite some almost disasters, we got into the jade division finals... and took home the gold! i really really like this team. we took practically whoever wanted to go to kelowna from both my team (apocalypse) and our sister team (cylone... hence the name A.C. UNITED) and threw them all in a boat and practiced together for a month. i knew we'd be bringing home some sort of hardware, but i didn't think it'd be the gold. but what a great way to end off the season. if anyone from the team is reading this, i would like to say thanks for being there... we couldn't have done it without you! we rule!!

tony and tina's wedding
oh man this was funny! char invited me to go with her and len, ai, meesh, and some of meesh's friends... i took eric with me at the last minute, even though he saw it already... what a sport. i don't know of many (i mean ANY) guys that would do the "broadway show" type thing. and i didn't expect eric to be one... for all y'all that know who eric is, you understand what i mean, right? but we had a great time. the show starts out at a real chapel... we are acting as guests at this wedding, so we "attend" the ceremony. i don't want to spoil anything about the actual show, but that nun who sang madonna was just SO funny! after the crazy ceremony, we were led to the hotel next door for the reception. this part was highly entertaining, because there were actors everywhere. something was happening wherever you turned. the actress who was ushering us in had hecka attitude (i swear, ai got so riled up, she was gonna feed this chickie a knuckle sandwich!!). we even got seated with 2 actors at our table. i went to the washroom and ran into the hired entertainment for the wedding. she and her "husband" used to have a show in vegas, so their story goes... and the bride's ex was in attendance to cause a stir... each one of these actors have their stories down pat! it was great. if you want a really different broadway show experience, this is it.

audition?
that was what jac asked me when she found out that UBC's CVC club wants to have us perform for some multicultural evening they're running. we both found out last thursday that we were being put down to audition for this thing. they just want us to sing (and boy can jac sing!!) and pump up the crowd. so we went to the audition last night and sang from this moment by shania twain, even though we were both not at our best (jac had a cold and i am still recovering from yelling in kelowna), and we got it. we thought it'd just be a simple little thing, but they're expecting like 700 to 800 people to attend this function (comprising of students, rich people, sponsors, and politicians). wow. but then again, jac and i aren't really the shy types. maybe this will be our big break!!... popstars, watch out now!!!

where to begin?
the last couple of days have been something i (or anyone else for that matter) have never experienced in my life. tuesday morning
i woke up 45 minutes before my alarm to my little sister's radio blaring what sounded to be some news channel. i remember thinking
to myself "since when did sarah start listening to radio news?... i thought this was the pop station... at least be blasting music
at 7am instead of news!!". i was so grumpy that i didn't even bother listening to what they were talking about. i was robbed of an extra 45 minutes of sleep, so i decided that i should just get up and get a early start on my day. i walked into the kitchen and turned
on the television to check out the local morning news when i saw this amazing sight of the twin towers on fire... i thought it was
some movie, or some stunt... then i realized that it had just happened and i was staring right at what used to be the world trade center. i was madly trying to turn up the volume and change the channel to cnn when i passed the french news channel and then saw
the pentagon was in flames. i was like "what in the world am i watching? is this all for real?!" cause i couldn't believe what
i was seeing. when i finally got to cnn, it was only 5 more minutes til i saw the second tower collapse. my mouth just hung open.

i was so sure that all hell was going to break loose sometime during the hours that followed. when work was over, i (literally)
ran home as fast as i could to see what was happening next. i heard about the missiles hitting in afghanistan. that made me so worried. then i heard about bush wanting 20billion (i think) for guns and ammunitions and gas to hunt down and punish the "folks" that did this...

all i can say is that i am upset. i'm 23 years old. i still have big plans for my future. this event will put my plans on hold, and i am not pleased about that. even a simple trip to cali this october is most likely not going to happen... all because some crazy people who hate americans decided to accomplish the craziest feat of terrorism ever. damn.

what bothers me the most is that none of this will be solved anytime soon. everyone is angry, and we all know how poorly one
can rationalize with a hot head. i hope things simmer down, but i have a really good feeling that they won't. i also have a really
good feeling that this will change a lot of people, kids and grownups... whoever. the kindergarteners were talking about a big building
blowing up on television, and the 4th graders were already talking about how young you are allowed be if you wanted to join the army.

wait... what about canada?
all we've been doing the last few days was accepting airplanes diverted from the states, cuz the americans were worried that there would be more terrorists coming in... step back for a bit. canada is a country too... it has people and cities and ressembles america
in some ways. so if there were a bomb on the plane, wouldn't it have the same chance of going off in canada as it does in the states?
we may be acting as the big brother who can help out, but i wonder if the united states would do the same for us if ever this situation
were to happen up here. i only think this way cuz i know that when "it" happens, the united states will be using all its power to drag
us canadians to fight right beside them (if not in front of them!)... it's not that i don't think revenge is the answer (that
i'll save for another blog entry), it's just that there is going to be a war... so i'm just scared.

back at it!
yipes... i knew i had a busy august, but who knew it would take this long for me to write in here again?...

so today was the first school day for students and teachers everywhere. for me, it was okay. nothing special happened at all. all i know is that i wish it was still summer vacation. i'm already looking forward to the thanksgiving weekend (for the americans reading this, our thanksgiving falls on your columbus day).

friends
i remember seeing a poem that was hanging in a kindergarten classroom a few years back, and i really liked it. it described the meaning of friendship real well. i dedicate this poem to all my friends.

you are my friend.

you are special.

you are my friend.

you are special to me.

you, my friend,

i like you.

(it just brings tears to your eyes, don't it?)

like
it sucks when someone likes you more than you like them. as much as they think you wouldn't understand how sucky that is, take it from me, we do. that's all.

*tune in next time when i'm bored and decide to write about my august adventures!*

scrub?
okay, so i was reading my kuya's blog... he asked what girls think about guys who live with their parents. the situation that kuya was saying included the guy being in his mid-20s, and him making payments for the house he helped them buy. i don't see how that could be such a bad thing, unless his parents are treating him like a teenager or something. but i personally don't know anyone (right off the top of my head) that is in this situation.

in the group i've got, i don't know any girl who's got her own place (apartment or house). we're all over 20. but i think it's just a typical girl thing that their parents let them stay as long as they want. it's not that our parents don't want us to move out, or that they won't encourage it. it's just that they won't boot us out of the house. besides, it's not that bad. some of us are spoiled and we don't have to pay rent or do anything for our parents to help support the family. the rest of us support our family in different ways, from just paying to keep gas in the car, to contributing a bit to the bills, to helping out our siblings so our parents won't have to worry about them so much. yeah, that's pretty much how it works in my neck of the woods. i know of a few people that strongly believe that after 19 (that's when you're considered an adult in canada), they will kick their kids out of the house to fend for themselves. unless i know that my kids are going to be able to do what they want to do (ex. school, travel, or work) AND support themselves financially, i won't even hear of that. the last thing i'd want is to kick my kid out of the house before they felt they were ready... imagine having to pay off student loans or credit card bills or having no real work experience so you'd be on welfare before the age of 20. and on top of that, they'd have to pay rent, electricity and grocery bills every month... maybe it's just a maternal thing, and i know this is a worst-case scenario, but i'd hate to think that my kid could have a really rough start on his or her adult life.

of course, if i think back to how i was when i was 19, well, i guess i was mentally ready. but i was still in school... definitely NOT financially ready. it's sad that money has to play such a big part, but it does.

but as far as if a guy was in this situation, i dunno. i think most guys make a point to be independant of their parents as soon as they can, regardless of if they still live with them or not. i know of some that live on their own, and those are the ones i hardly see cuz they're always working. of course, it would be a bit of a drag if you wanted to have a romantic evening with a guy and you couldn't cuz his mom and dad were upstairs watching television or something... privacy and independance are the main advantages to having your own place. but really, a guy (in his early to mid 20s) living with his family doesn't bother me so much. it's not like he'd be living in his parent's house forever. besides, it's different if a guy owns his house and has his parents staying with him rather than him living with his parents. now, if he complains about his living situation and is doing nothing about it, then i would consider him a scrub.

pender island
man, i am so beat. i just got back from sabby's uncle's cabin on a local island and was that ever a well-deserved rest! first off, this cabin was BEAUTIFUL! it was a log-cabin, with 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a great kitchen and dining area, and a living room with a gas fireplace and a HUGE view of the lake. it was right at our back yard!! this morning, deer were grazing in the yard, the sun was shining, and the girls and i canoed out to the middle of the lake and sunbathed on these raft things... it was SO sweet. i wish we didn't have to come back so soon... after this beautiful weekend, i really feel like my summer is over. i guess it's cuz work for me is an elementary school. it's like waaaay back in the day when you were a kid. once you saw the school supply shopping commercials on television, you know another year of hard work and effort is on its way.

cool... take 2
so my kuya told me that this friend of his wrote something about my "cool" entry in her blog. her name is bernadette and her blog is pretty... well... COOL (really, it is!). it's true, that it's all in how you say it, and i agree with her... it's got such diverse meanings for such a little word. i really have a special place in my heart for this word. but just watch... the english language will eventually collapse on itself because every word will want to be the same word... okay, maybe not, but hey. it's still a scary thought.

i need...
music!! argh, i was thinking i could just chill back and blog while listening to the latest mp3s sarah and i downloaded on this ancient machine... but it's just not working. oh well, i guess i could listen to the radio... but i really felt like listening to some sugar jones, the canadian popstar group (yes, from the tv show). i'm quite impressed with their voices, actually. i heard a taste of the australian popstars group bardot, and they're just okay.

but anyhow, i'm just taking a break from doing some work. need to do some mindless blabbing...

is there another word for COOL?
i was talking to a friend earlier and he likes to say the word cool. that's not a bad thing... i use it a lot too. i (and others i know) use other words like sweet, tight, awesome, and all good to mean the same as cool, but cool comes up the most in conversation. i think it annoys some people (mostly the ESL kids i talk with... or old people ;op ) but i don't think i can help it. although, you'd have to be really cool for me to say you are (yeah, i'm talkin to you PAWNK!... hehehe).

got books?
reading is something i used to have to force myself to do. now i wasn't one of those kids who absolutely despised reading. i actually really liked it. i was just kinda slow at it. and of course when i got to the highschool level, i read what we had to read for english or literature class, so i didn't really have an urge to read other books when i had free time. but in university, i found that reading was one of the best ways to procrastinate (next to playing video games, watching movies, and email). now, since i go to the library almost every week to get kids books to tutor with, i look around for books i'd like to read that have more than 15 pages, pictures optional.

the latest one i have is just SO good! i've never been interested in anything more than the bare minimum about history, but in the last little while or so, my interest has been sparked. it must've been around the time i was reading timeline by michael crichton... anyhow, the book i've got now is about the battle of stalingrad. it's the setting for that movie enemy at the gate was about. yes, it has to do with the war, a topic not many of my friends talk about, but the story is just SO unbelieveable.

*grumble*
i have so much to do. this weekend i'm headed out to a cabin on pender island with sabby and the girls (i wonder if more than jason and rick will be joining us to represent the guys?..) so we have to do some major food shopping soon. then when i get back i've got to get back into the intensive tutoring scene... then our dragon boat team will be hella practicing for our victoria competition in a couple of weeks... then i'm off the following weekend with my little sister to L.A. for our cousin's cotillion.

i guess most of these activities are going to be fun... i'm just complaining about the busy-ness of it all. i wish me and my friends could just sit back and chill together and not worry about work or anything. at least it'd be a relaxing end to the summer.

sonho meu
that's the name of a brazilian song i'm listening too... i think i've practically memorized it already. and for those who know me, it's not unusual. there's just something horribly wrong with me. it's that damn "phonographic memory" i've got with songs, and it doesn't matter what language they're in either. now if only i could learn a filippino song other than nandito ako...

sugar
i love sugar. and i really like those crazy asian candies too. the other day, i went to richmond with annie and we spent $20 (canadian... so that makes for about 12 of your american bucks) on chinese and japanese imported candy. now before you go on thinking "what? is that candy really that great?" i have to say YES it is. there are so many cool flavors that north american candies wouldn't have. like lychee, mango, muscat and green grape to name a few. there's a buch of weird ones too (like scotch flavor.. eeep!) but i'll tell you about those if we ever have to eat it. the best tasting candy we bought has to be this lychee flavored chewy candy. yummy!! we tried the mango version of it, but it tasted pretty bad. and now i'm chewing on some sour green grape flavor gum drops. the candy has a site... it's so funny, the characters on the site really look like the character on the package! annie picked up this bubble gum that has fizzy popping things in the center of it. it really made us salivate. the most interesting one has to be the peach-grape flavored gum. it had a cotton candy consistancy and turned into chewing gum once it hits your saliva. it was really neat. but weird at the same time. you gotta wonder what kind of kicks people get out of buying this regularly. there's this one candy in front of me with a cartoon of a hamster on it... it's got a website too... and my candy really looks like that! these candies are so entertaining.

nekked!

so i went to the nude beach in vancouver called wreck beach for the first time last week. it's such a beautiful beach! remind me to take you if you ever come and visit me, and provided that the weather is good. it was so much less crowded than the local beaches, and that really was refreshing. plus, the area has some historicity (is that a word? well it is now!) to it. back during the war, we feared that we could possibly be attacked, being on the pacific and all. so there were three big guns placed up above the beach level (around where our museum of anthropology is), and a couple lookout towers on the actual beach. it's really cool.

i can't really tell you much about the naked people though. i was busy walking around looking down because there are a ton of big rocks just waiting to turn your ankle for you. but when i DID look up, i saw an awful lot of women with those ugly banana shaped tits. i know i have far from the best tits in the world, but i'm sorry, they were quite gross. no real nice boobies were hanging out (pardon the pun!) that day. i also saw a lot of big ol' burly men, with itty bitty wee wees. the younger, fitter men were either too far out towards the water or sunbathing on their stomachs so i couldn't really get a good look at their packages. aww shucks. but i must mention that there was this one guy who looked pretty relaxed, sleeping sprawled out on a big log, with the largest penis i've ever seen. it was just laying there on top of his right thigh. it was easy 6 inches long. but enough about that.

food... yummm

on friday, jason and i went to a barbecue at one of our brazilian student friend's homestay house. it was so sweet. he had a pool and a jacuzzi. this is not a common luxury for us vancouverites, because it's usually rainy or cold 9 of the 12 months of the year, so most of us spend our extra cash on hard-top convertibles, or trips to warm and sunny places. lucky for us it's been sunny for 3 weeks straight so this bbq came at the perfect time. we didn't do much except for chill by or in the pool all night, but it was all good. eating barbecued steak, chicken, and sausages was fine by me!

mmmm... more food!!

saturday was jp's (my godbrother) birthday party. it was another barbecue, this time at a park in new wesminster (for my cali friends, picture oakland, but with more apartments than tenement housing). the amount of time it takes to take our skytrain from downtown vancouver to there is about the same amount of time it takes for the BART to take you from downtown san fran to the second oakland stop (if i recall correctly, it's the west oakland stop). funny, isn't it? anyhow, me and char chilled and ate steak and rice, and reminiced with our godsiblings. we are all pretty much around the same age, and we often wonder when we get older, if we'll be running the family barbecues as much as our parents run them right now. it's funny, but we all see it as a kind of torch that will be passed to us, the younger generation, to preserve our filipino culture through family traditions. it's really interesting to think about, cause we're all canandian, and canadians are notorious for not having a specific culture. that's what we get for having a multicultural society rather than a melting pot.

and you'd think the food would stop there. that same evening, i went to sun sui wah, a great chinese seafood restaurant, for cin's 24th birthday. i gotta say, if you love seafood and chinese food, go to a really good chinese seafood restaurant. it's delicious! and as odd as it may sound, jellyfish tastes AWESOME. i can't describe how it's cooked, but it's not as gross as you'd first think. it's so delicious. i had such a good time that evening, mostly because i was hanging with people i don't see very often anymore. but regardless of our busy lives, we never lose touch. it's so great.

all for you
so last thursday was supposed to be janet jackson's first concert of her all for you tour. it was to be here in our very own GM place arena. she rented the whole place out for most of june so she could practice before the tour started. but it ended up that the concert was postponed until monday the 9th. regardless of the delay, it was SO worth it! this woman is amazing. her choreography was perfect for every dance number, and her singing was so on key it gave me chills. and the place was full up til the rafters. it was a great concert.

and of course, how could i rave about it without raving about 112? these guys are the best guy r&b group i've heard live since the days of boyz2men. sarah and i went to their first performance out here and it was beautiful (wouldn't you agree craig? ;op) and their second apperance was just as great. if ever you get a chance, check them out live. it's so worth it.

until i write again...

dragon boat

holy cow am i tired (still!) of this past weekend. the vancouver alcan dragon boat festival started on friday and ended sunday. did you know that it's the world's largest international dragon boat festival? i just found that out myself. as for my team, team apocalypse, we did pretty well for ourselves... we won silver in the second highest recreational team division. it was a great weekend, despite the stress of it all... i'll tell more about it later when i post the link to the pictures.

so much to read...

and so little time! there is just too much information out there. it's times like this i wish i could read faster... much like that guy on the speed reading infomercial. he just runs his finger down the page and he's done. PLUS he says he understands every detail of what he just read! my friend andy had some sort of reading product like that when we were in highschool. i wonder if it worked... think it's just a crock? but it would be SO useful!! take my daily interests for example. i have email that i read, respond to and compose, i like to read at least the front page of the paper to see yesterday's news, i read about more current events online, i write in my blog (not all the time, but i'm consistent), i tutor/teach kids constantly, and if i'm not already square-eyed from all that information, i like to read my book before going to bed. and of course i feel bad that i can't email back everyone that writes me, but let it be known that i at least read what they write. it's usually by then that i'm so burned out from all the words i see in a day that writing more is just torture. i should start typing with my eyes closed... if you can handle the typos. i can't wait til voice command technology becomes more refined and less expensive. forgive the corniness, but it'll be a sight for sore eyes!!

hey mer, how's life?

that's what everyone's been asking me lately. no one's seemed to catch me at a full stop for the last month... well, in a word, my life is BUSY. like i told my kuya, i'm kinda torn among three things: my job, my family, and everything else (all lumped into one big pile).

work is work

work is keeping me busy, but that's just temporary. it's report card season again, you know. you will not believe how many teachers know very minimal about computers, and typing is not a forte they all posess. the last day of school is on the 25th, and the report cards have to be entered into the computers/system by this weekend. that amounts to stress on them which, suprisingly, doesn't stress me at all... although, it's not enjoyable sometimes when you have to teach a weathered teacher how to save their work. you think they'd be as open to learn as they are to teach. some of them are just so cranky. whenever i encounter a situation where a bad attitude is involved, i try my best to remember it. that way, if i find myself acting that way, i can remind myself how stupid it looks from another person's shoes. it's just a theory, and probably a bad one, but i'm hoping to become a better person that way.

thicker than water

my family is doing fine. we've got lots of flowers, and my relatives are always bringing over food with their well-wishes. it's hard doing all the things i have to do, let alone the things i want to do when we have to make sure my mom's not doing anything but relaxing. and the relatives mean well, i know, but sometimes i have the feeling that too many cooks spoil the pot. one weekend a couple weeks ago, i went out for a walk at queen elizabeth park with jason. no one was expected to be here, but low and behold, the relatives came and a party ensued. it wasn't something that would have been highly recommended, but it happened anyway. everyone was fussing over anybody that asked mom anything, cuz "she has to rest! don't disturb her!!" it got hard to bear. as much as i know i should've been around, i'm kinda glad i wasn't. you know how family can be. i'd have probably gone crazy.

life?

i don't have time for an interesting one. i've got jason (thank GOODNESS) so he's what keeps me smiling mostly. i don't know what i'd do without him.
tonight is the big fundraiser for my dragon boat team. it's gonna be at daddy o's. this place has been renovated since it's early days of being big bam boo. it looks good... but i'm not too sure about the two cages with elevated podiums some girls choose to dance in. i guess that's what happens when your club also hosts "ladies night". hopefully, there will be some happenings worth repeating... then maybe my blog/my life will be a bit more exciting. strange, my entries used to be less mediocre than this... maybe someone stole my qi...?!

let's recap last weekend... before this one starts!

friday, i went downtown with mom. aside from running errands (ie. shopping), we paid a visit to ming, our jeweler. now, someone once told me that in life all you need is a good doctor, a good lawyer, and a good barber/hairdresser. well i can't help but think that a jeweler should be up there somewheres. it's just so much more worth it rearranging your old jewelry than buying completely new ones... at least in mom and my case :o)
anyhow, she had some of her pearls set in white gold. one cultured pearl was set into my lola's engagement ring band, and sized to fit my finger! i know this might be boring for most of you, but if you ever get the chance to see this ring, WOW is it ever beautiful!

an ice cold beer makes you wanna cheer...
(yes, i think i will start putting titles on my entries now)

saturday was my dragon boat team's first race of the year, and my first race ever. i was more than a little bit nervous about it... i was worried i wouldn't be loud enough, or that i'd fall out of the boat mid-race, or that i'd make us lose. but it turned out to be SO fun! it was like a track meet on water. although, getting soaked after our final race wasn't quite as fun as we played it to be (no thanks to darryl! you are SO going to get it boy!). but the salty false creek water stinging my eyes didn't matter. we won :o)

mother's day "lupper"

see, it would've been a brunch if we had actually had it before noon. instead it was a late lunch or early supper, or "lupper".
annie, bébé (a.k.a. rafael), and i cooked buttermilk pancakes and omlettes for our parents and us. it was hilarious trying to get bébé to cook with us. he's only 7 so imagine the excitement in the kitchen. tune in for a repeat performance this father's day.

i miss cali

i can't help but think how beautiful it is down there at this time, while up here, sun is quickly becoming a myth. monday was crazy torrential rain all day. by 9pm, there were power outs in many parts of vancouver... of course, the other reasoning could be because california has been sucking out all OUR electricity... what is up with that? i thought you guys were a rich state! freeloaders ;op

so i'm in the field of education... now, i know i can do it, but do i really want to do it? the idea of having a winter, spring and summer vacation is just great, and i must say, that is what first attracted me to teaching. of course, i was six years old. now that i've grown a little bit older and wiser, school is still school. i liked it when i was a kid, i liked it less when i was a teenager, and those who know me well can tell you how little i liked it in university. now that doesn't mean that i'm against teaching or education or anything like that. i'm all for it. it's just that i'd rather do something i like. i had to man the fifth grade yesterday afternoon when the regular teacher was called away. i am familiar with the class, and was prepared to have to deal with complete chaos. well, it didn't end up being complete chaos, but there were always the kids who were intent on not listening. boy were they in for it.

see, the fifth grade has a nickname for me: nice lady. some have even come up to me and said that they weren't scared of me. that kind of concerns me. does that mean that i have to be "scary" to be a successful teacher? by successful i mean getting the respect that all teachers should have from their students. after all, teachers are trying to teach the kids something that they'll be able to use sometime in their lives. it's just so hard when they don't want to listen. not only do you get a bit ticked off when they refuse to cooperate (trust me, teaching is a thankless job), but imagine having the opportunity to make an impression on a child's life and it turns out that it's a negative impression instead of positive. yikes, the repercussions could be severe!! i'm all for being a pillar of the community, but i am just not comfortable knowing that getting the kids to listen and obey means that you'd have to be some sort of dragon lady. well, i don't know if they were scared of me after yesterday, but the two kids that i had to give lines to must have serious hand cramps this morning. my new nickname: don't mess.

my goodness... i just finished catching myself up on my kuya gary's blog. i have so much to say about it! i can relate so much about a lot of things he's grown up with (mind you i'm only 2 years younger than him, so we did pretty much grow up in the same generation). oh no, i feel an essay coming on...

for those of you who don't already know me, i was born and grew up in vancouver. contrary to the popular belief that there's a plethera of filipinos here, the only ones i surrounded myself with (short of my ninangs, ninongs, titas and titos... but they don't count because they're adults!) were my godbrothers and godsisters. they are without a doubt the coolest flips i know out here. in school, i had two main circles: the "frimmers" (i was in FRench IMMERsion from kindergarten to grade 12... the majority of them were caucasian), and my chinese friends. neither of these groups had any filipinos in them. of course now my circles have a bunch of cultures in them, still with a big chunk of chinese, some caucasians, and a few non-chinese asians... and still not so many filipinos.

it's a bit weird if you step back and look at it. i know i'm not a traditional filipina (i date non-filipinos, i didn't have a "debut," i can't speak tagalog even though i understand it enough...). i really consider myself to be a canadian-filipina. i was brought up to believe that i'm canadian first, then my ethnic background. but it's not that i'm ashamed of my roots... it's just that i was born in canada, not the philippines. i was brought up in a canadian environment, not a filipino one. and even though my immediate influences (my parents and our close family friends) are all filipino, with their filipino values, morals and beliefs to impress upon me, they've taught this all to me but in a sort of adapted form from when they were young, therefore in a non-traditionally filipino way. they are all very open-minded and realize that bringing up a kid in the filipino way in a non-filipino environment would be difficult. as long as the kid knows to appreciate his or her roots, then i figure it's all good.

a really interesting part that got me was kuya talking about being "white-washed." now i've never considered myself to be that at all, firstly because i don't have enough caucasian friends that i'd consider completely caucasian. the majority of the ones i know are what we like to call "eggs." white on the outside but yellow in the inside. they all have a sort of asian streak in them. one who lived here all her life had to move to the east coast to go to university. the next time i saw her she was telling me how out of place she felt because there were so many blondes and no black-haired students on campus. it took a while for her to realize that she wasn't asian and that she wasn't sticking out like a sore thumb.

the second reason why i've never thought of myself white-washed was because, well, if you've ever been to vancouver you'd know. there's just a ton of asians out here! for example, my chinese friends totally thought of me as an "honorary chinese." i even picked up a few phrases just from being around them so much. i guess you could call me "yellow-washed" if there were such a thing.

i used to consider being called a "banana" was akin to being called white-washed, but not anymore. i've been called a banana, but not because i'm "more white" in the inside, but because i'm just not a traditional asian. i guess being a banana is not as extreme as white-washed. so i guess then me and my friends are a bunch of eggs and bananas.

although it could seem like it, i don't think i really have a problem finding my identity. i know my blood is filipino and i'm really proud of that. it's where my parents are from. but i am also a canadian. it's where i'm from.

last night i had such a blast. i went out to 'lil cin's" surprise birthday dinner and everyone was there! and it was sooo good to see the clan. i've only been the "honorary richmond-ite" for 5 years but the history i've got with them is huge. epic even! honestly, they're the high point of my post-secondary life. and despite the things that happen to each of us individually (family, friends, school, jobs... anything that keeps us too busy), you'll always know that it's impossible to lose any of them. it'll only be a couple months and then another big get-together happens. i think it's these things that keep us tight. besides, everyone's a unique contribution to our circle and i think all of us know that it'd be retarded if any of us weren't there. sabby and a few others realized how hilarious it was that there were a bunch of ex-girl/boyfriends at the table. good thing we're all good with it, otherwise there'd be some show... ;op

of course not like gossipping, er, um, i mean, reminiscing wasn't fun enough! hehehehe...
i'm just glad that i'm on our side and not on the side of anyone that would be dumb enough to mess. we'd take anyone and laugh them out of the room! we're not mean people, we're just tight. and it's not like we bite... well, maybe except for jac... ;op

so it's been practically a month since i wrote last. i humbly apologize to my faithful readers... if i still have any... if i had any at all!! ;op
but to at least keep up with that last entry, i did buy a dress. no it was not from zara (but that might change tomorrow). it's this cute lilac coloured sundress and i just had to have it. lucky for me it was on sale! and as much as i convinced myself that i wouldn't need new shoes with it, i just might look around...

and what else is new?... hmm... i got asked back to work at the elementary school for next year. it's really great... i guess. well, it keeps me busy. now i'm just worried that i won't be able to get my previous goals accomplished as quickly as i wanted to... like finish my degree. don't get me wrong, i'd much rather finish school than be stuck in a part-time job, especially since it feels like full-time with part-time pay and crappy hours. you must understand that with the elementary school comes the students that want to be tutored after school... some days i work from 8:30am to 8:30pm. that wouldn't suck if i were baking all day or something, cuz at least i'd be moving. but having to educate a kid requires sitting still and focussed non stop, not to mention getting the kid to sit still and be focussed. seriously, by wednesday, my adrenalin keeps me going til saturday morning when i can actually sleep in. depite me not being a smoker or a drinker, i think i'm just as unhealthy and abusive to my body as the next guy.

okay, so contrary to what i said before, i controlled myself and didn't go to zara yesterday. good thing too. i'm dying to get an ibook so i shouldn't be spending my hard earned cash on dresses that i look great in. there'll be other dresses, later on in the season when everyone is already set in the trend... okay maybe i can buy one dress.

speaking of dresses, penelope cruz has really great ones in that movie of hers called "woman on top." too bad that movie licked. if you haven't seen it and don't want to know what happens, skip the rest of this blog. but i don't suggest watching it anyways. this story is about a girl who needs to control everything that's happening to her otherwise she'll get sick. literally. she meets a guy and they get married but he's a real macho type man. he likes to be in control. this guy ends up cheating on her because when they have sex, he can't be "on top." i find that kind of weak but hey, i didn't write the screenplay. she predictably runs away and tries to start anew. macho man chases her down and tries to win her back and she tells him she doesn't love him anymore. i thought by this point in the movie that she was just going to do everything she wanted... be independant and all. and it looked like it was headed that way. but by the end of the movie, she succumbs to her macho husband's charms and actually goes back to the guy. it doesn't really live up to the title i guess. maybe it was a sarcastic title...

you know what i hate? i hate it when i'm just doing some harmless window shopping. if i go into it thinking "i won't find anything special" i ALWAYS seem to find at least one thing that i like. and not only do i like it, but it ends up fitting me perfectly, AND it always seems to look good. well, today after work i went to zara, my most favorite store on robson street. not only did i find 3 dresses that i like and look great on me (last time this happened was recorded in my november blog), but one of them was particularly gorgeous, and was only $69!!! *sigh* if only i had the guts to spend flagrantly. chances are i will drop by zara again, and i will rave more about it throughout the week.

AIYA!!!

so how do i look?... thanks to kuya for making my blog work again... and for putting up a pic of me so people can see me in my natural state (yes, phone and all!!). but why must it be THAT picture? as long as you're alive, that photo will haunt me, huh? curse you and your webcam!! ;op kidding!! but if anyone turns into stone, it's on YOUR conscience not mine!

anyhow, tonight i brought jason out to meet a few of my friends. we went to this japanese restaurant in richmond... the company was good but the food was debateable. that's all i'm gonna say about it because even the thought of complaining about the food quality makes me a bit ill. needless to say, i've been drinking gingerale since i got back... that was almost 7 hours ago.

earlier today i had to work at the college, so i was downtown. on my way back home, i was on the bus and it was packed. i was standing in the front trying not to step on peoples' feet or elbow them in the face. but there was this one man who just ticked me right off. he was standing behind me with his back to mine and he was leaning on me. yes, his ass was pushing up on me! YUCK. as if i were some sort of pillar to support him!! i was so not impressed but instead of shoving him off of me, i decided to move up a bit into some space that just cleared up. i was soaked from the rain and really tired so getting into a confrontation would just put me in a very bad mood. it worked out for me because aside from him losing his crutch, the bus started to move and he damn near fell over. i don't care that he was an old man and could've fallen on his ass. he was invading my already very small personal space. besides, it could've only been worse if i had more energy. i'd have turned right around, waited for him to fall, help him back up, then thrown him back down... "fallen and can't get up? well next time, i'll break your hip!!"

yesterday, i had some vietnamese food with sabby. gotta satisfy that craving! but anyone who likes it knows there's just something to that food. it's like drugs. you just crave it like a junkie wanting a hit. imagine that: "hey man, i just need a hit... just one hit of pho!" kinda like the mcdonald's french fries effect. you eat one then before you know it, you're friend's supersized fries are gone. i swear they must be lacing the frying oil with cocaine or something.

tomorrow... wait, i guess it'd be today.... anyhow, i'll be at the movies watching "enemy at the gate" with jason. oh yes, for those of you who have just started to read about my mundane life in vancouver, jason is such a great guy. i met him at the college we both work at and i had a crush on him since he first said hi (draw parallels to jerry macguire NOW). this is the same guy i went with to the van deusen botanical gardens when we jumped the fence. neil is his much cooler twin brother. now before anyone gets all up in my face about that last sentence, let me clarify. i say jason is cool, but neil is cooler. jason says i'm cool, but that annie is cooler than me. therefore, the "cool" twins hooked up and all is well in the world... well, all would be perfect in the world if the "cooler" twins hooked up but i'll leave things like that to the fates ;op ... i'm so excited to see the movie! i'll review it in my next entry. sleep right now would be good...

my eyes are still square from yesterday...

neil and linda invited jason and i to playdium last night. it's this massive arcade in the metrotown shopping centre. it was so fun! i killed so many bad guys with all sorts of weaponry... automatics, revolvers, sniper riffles, machine guns and tanks. soon after came the racing games. and then i had to play the dj-ing game to see if i could cut it on the one-twos. that i need to practice, that's for sure. but a good oldie that i always gotta hit is the dance dance revolution game. shoot, that game is just so fun. we all had a really great time. but was i ever braindead on the way home! i still can't hardly stare at anything for too long or else my eyes turn it into pixels. you gotta love the joys of computers :o)

it's so beautiful today. i almost just want to go shopping. i realize that living in vancouver, we're like chickens with our heads cut off when the weather gets nice. the things that have crossed my mind for ideas for things to do today were:

- clean my room
- do the laundry (which i really don't desperately need to do)
- surf the web
- eat
- go to the gym
- go shopping

all these things that involve staying inside. i really need to get into the outdoorsy mode. and it's not even that i'm lazy. i just don't have any ideas! maybe i need to surround myself with people who know what to do in the sunshine... or maybe i just need to move to a place that's almost always sunny...

6.2

that's the magnitude of the earthquake vancouver had yesterday. a lot of buildings swayed but barely anything broke. some people (including yours truely) didn't even feel it. i was with a bunch of hyper second graders at the time so i really didn't notice the extra movement. but seattle was a complete wreck! i think it hit at 7.0 down there. the "big one" is coming.

on a completely different note, i went to safeway the other night and i saw a girl that looked just like phuong! i was so shocked. i was staring at this petite asian girl, with a short haircut, wearing a long camel colored wool coat (it reminded me of phuong's camel colored "robe-ish" knit sweater), and these super cute shoes that have soles that look like warty bumps... you'd know them if i showed them to you. but my goodness were the ressemblances eerie! her height and build, the way she walked... this girl's lips even looked like phuong's! if i heard this girl speak, and it sounded like phuong, i would have totally gone up to her and said "hey, are you related to phuong?" creepiness.

it's such a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

today is the third, or even fourth day in a row that it has been just amazing weather for us in vancouver. with all this sun (and my allergies in full swing) it feels like spring! but i don't want to jinx it. watch, it'll end up snowing again by thursday. well, i hope it won't.

yesterday, i thought it might be a nice day to stroll downtown, with the sun out and all. but it ended up that jason and i went for a walk around kits... it's a fairly yuppy area, kinda like where my kuya lives in san francisco actually. it's near some (over-priced) shopping but a little walk from there gets you to the planet-arium (ever watch south park?.. hehehe funny episode, that one), a couple museums, and the area where our dragon boat practices are held. then we walked along the water, towards the beach. what's really neat in kits is that you can look right across the water and see downtown and the beach on that side. from where we were, downtown looked busy with people, families enjoying the sunny sunday afternoon no doubt. it made me happy that we decided to stay on the vancouver side.

today i should be at the college. i would usually go, but my head is just fat with pain. why i'm at a computer is beyond me. i should just be sleeping. but believe it or not, i am closing my eyes as i type... talk about skills ;op hehehe. the only thing that sucks about this sudden beautiful weather is my allergies. as long as i survive it with minimal drugs, i will be just fine.

aiya.

i hate not keeping up to date with this thing. now i've got sooo much to say!

okay, let's start from the night that i last wrote. i was over at jason's house tapping away while guests were slowly trickling into his living room. he was having a little get together and i was being a little bit anti-social. no matter. after the blog, i ran upstairs to meet some of his friends. then neil arrived. he's jason's cooler, better-looking, and more charming twin brother. and the fun didn't stop there! a few minutes later, annie and chris arrived. now imagine, two sets of twins at one party? yes it was entertaining. i was seated in between jason and neil and do they ever sound alike! annie was on the other side of neil and i think the idea of "stereo sound" was not too far from his thoughts. that was a fun evening. there's just no comparison to being a twin... people like us are just born cool.

on valentine's day, i had to go to the elementary school. oh, the kids were so cute! there was even a kid who bought his girl a huge heart-shaped box of chocolates, and his buddy bought a pot of tulips for the girl he liked! when i asked them if the girls actually liked them back they both said "yes, of course!" so i asked what the girls gave them, and they answered "well, we're too young for kisses, so they gave us hugs. big hugs." now, what can i say to that? these kids are in the fifth grade and are sweeter than the majority of guys i know!! if you are a guy who is having girl problems, and is older than 10 years, take note of this. you might learn something!
my highlight of valentine's day at school has got to be the candies and cards i got! the one i like the most was this cute card that had a bumblebee on the front and in a heart under it was written "BEE my valentine!". i just love that card! it reminds me of the simpson's episode where ralph liked lisa and gave her a card that had a train on it and said "I CHOO-CHOO-CHOOSE YOU!". hehehe that is just too funny.
but i must have had the best valentine's day evening ever that night. i spent it with my favorite twins, feasting on chinese take-out and watching the ManU game (which was horribly boring except for one or two minutes of it) instead of temptation island (which wasn't on that night... aw shucks. no, i am not a big fan, they are). it was a good, lazy evening.

friday night, i hit kits pub with jo and victor to support something that slips my mind at the moment, and it was fun. now, no offense to any caucasian people, but that evening was the "hip hop and r&b" night... and just watching them dance made it hard for me to keep my rythym! heehee, i'm just joking! it was just that i was on a dance floor with only 2 other non-white people. i think it's the area that the pub is located, but i really just felt like i was back in victoria (there is a higher caucasian population there than in vancouver... out of my experience, that is). after getting warmed up, jo, victor and i went to palladium. now this will be the last time i will mention myself going to palladium. the evening was nice, there was a lot of people there, and of course, the music was just sooo good. but i realized that i knew a good amount of people there. that is not a good sign for a clubber. for goodness sakes, i saw craig in the vip line! for as long as i knew him, he did not like clubbing at all. he hated it! that has GOT to tell you something. as jo foretold the first time we hit it, "i give it 2 weeks. after that, it'll be so mainstream and the crowd will consist mainly of children born in 1980. that's when it'll be over." so it is. *sigh*

but let's get back to updating. on saturday i went to a play at the gateway theatre in richmond called "mom, dad, i'm living with a white girl." it was a comedy but the ending was so serious. i found it almost extreme. i'll get into it in a later entry.

sunday was great. i got to practice calling for the dragon boat team i'm on. it was fun. i just got to sit at the front of the boat, yell at the paddlers to go slower or faster or at least to the beat of my voice. i'm pretty much the metronome. and i think i'm rather good at it. but after all, i AM filipina. we're born with rythym!

so my updates are getting a bit thin... sorry. i'm just sooo hungry now! i'll fatten them out later :o)

oh yeah, this is all updated for the sake of my kuya gary. happy now kuya? ;op heehee

last night was so cool. sabby, jac, angie and i went to the commodore ballroom (a really swish venue in downtown) to watch a band called soul decision. they're from vancouver and have really taken off in the pop charts. i would say that their music is best described as a good beat, slightly popular melodies with a bit of an 80's style. anyhow, i must admit these guys are GREAT live. one of the lead singers looks like brad pitt (or aaron in kuya's last role of film!) and could he and the other lead sing! aside from their own songs, they sang covers of duran duran, george michael, and of course, bryan adams (for all who don't know, bryan adams is another proud product of vancouver). us girls had a blast. too bad that after the mini concert, the ballroom went all pop clubbish. nothing but mainstream music being played afterwards. so at about midnight, the girls and i decided to leave to hit palladium. lucky for me i got us in even though it was past midnight, and even though it was fairly packed. i must say that the music was better the week before, but hey, i would still pick it over... well, there's not really that much to pick from. i live in vancouver.

ANYHOW, here's where it gets a bit interesting. i asked in my previous entry a question about what guys really want from a girl when they meet her. well, i found out the answer from the guy that sparked this question for me. as usual, i will not state his name but if he's reading this, he'll know he's the loser i'm talking about.

he was at the club and i really appreciated that he got me and the girls in, but once i got the chance, i asked him what his intentions were. he was honest (at least) and told me that he really wanted to get to know me... you know, like finding out my likes and dislikes, finding out what i do for a living, finding out how it is to make out with me... yes, he said that. i told him that was not my definition of getting to know someone (in particular the last part), but i told him that i thought he was a nice guy and that he'd better end the conversation before something makes me realize that he isn't a gentleman. then it went something like this:

"stop acting that way." he said.

"like what?"

he held my face in his hands, looked into my eyes and said "like a bitch."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"like a bitch."

"don't make me slap you..."

he took his hands off my face and held his arms out defiantly "slap me if you want to. you're a nice girl and i'm a nice guy, and i just want to get to know you. so don't be a bitch."

i figured i might have been being a little bit harsh so to end the conversation, i decided to be civil and comply. "okay fine, i'll call you sometime." (note this is me giving the ever so popular "benefit of the doubt." maybe he really wasn't a jerk and he just had too much to drink. maybe he really wants to just know me for me, and not want to get into my pants. yeah, MAYBE.)

he looked at me in an arrogant and doubtful way and spoke in a tone that sounded as if he meant to diss me. "yeah right. no you won't."

at this point i just about had it with this clown and put my hands on his shoulders and made sure i was at an arm's length away from him. "and you still doubt me" before he could say anything, i slapped him. "fuck you." and i walked away.

no it wasn't a hard one, but he got the picture. i think i was just tired of him talking like he knew exactly what i was supposed to do. he made me feel like he wouldn't be able to trust me with him, like all i really wanted to do was jump his bones or something. now, if anyone has seen this guy, "bones" is the word to describe him. he probably has a thinner waist than i do. and yes of course, he's ugly. so if he really thought he had a chance with me, he sure is a bit full of himself. and plus, nobody calls me a bitch and gets away unscathed. i just told him what i wanted and just because it didn't fit into what HE wanted, i am by default considered a bitch. my definition of bitch is as follows: somebody who feels the need to complain (or blame others) when they can't get their way. i think we know who the real bitch turned out to be.

i had quite a fun weekend. aside from clubbing two nights in a row, i had a really fun time yesterday. jason (this guy that works at the same college as annie and me) and i hopped the fence of a 50 acre garden in vancouver and ran around in the hedge maze they had there. he is one cool guy.

as i type this entry, i am still in pain from the previous evenings. i couldn't even go to hockey last night! i was supposed to go to sunpeaks in kelowna this weekend for some snowboarding, but i couldn't get out of work. even though i am dying to use my new boarding gloves, i think it's good that i didn't go. it's been a year since i've touched the mountains (and injured my knees), and now i know why the doctor told me that it was only a "maybe" that i'd be able to board this season. my knees are not holding up as well as they should be (but maybe dancing all the time has something to do with it). oh well. i heard sunpeaks was icey this weekend anyway.

ooh, one interesting part of my weekend is that i just found out that i have a friend that didn't cover "the trail" well enough for himself. it's in that friends episode when ross slept with the photocopier girl and he didn't cover "the trail" of people that might know about his little fling soon enough or well enough. rachel found out and she was quite upset. i think that when people find out what's going on with my friend, he is so toast. what do they call it? the shit's about to hit the fan?... hehehe.

before i go, i must tell you what has been on my mind all weekend: what does a guy really want when he calls a girl out of the blue just to "hook up for tea or coffee"? i can't help but feel that the guy is hoping for a little bit more. i want to know just what is that "little bit more"?

friday night i went to a night club called palladium. it was hip hop and r&b night there (and contrary to what kuya says about hip hop and fat girls, there were actually a lot of slimmer girls there ;op ) . dj vanzai was "tearin up van city" as the flyer predicted. this guy is from "sea town" (i swear who comes up with these names?!) and he was sooo good! jo, one of our girl friends, invited willa and i to go. i was so impressed by the crowd. i haven't gone clubbing to a place where people actually wanted to dance and have fun in such a long time. and the thing that shocked me the most was that practically two thirds of the place was filippino!! it was like all the filippino people in vancouver were in the club! but it was soo cool. there was barely any snobbiness that i've seen at other clubs like richard's on richard's or wett bar. of course, jo did point out that this perfect scene will most likely end in 2 weeks or so... when the younger crowd finds out about it and decide that palladium is the place to be on a friday night. there is just something about masses of people born from 1981 that you see in clubs.

last night we heard that the same dj was playing at purple onion. so of course, i went. and of course, they weren't there. the crowd was more like i expected a purple onion crowd to be like, lots of youngins and lots of people who can't dance. oh well. i've said it before and think i will finally stick by it: i will not go to purple onion if they claim they are playing hip hop. their dj sucks.

hehehe
so i guess this isn't the most tasteful way for me to express my happenings, especially the not so nice ones, but i will anyway. anyone who has a problem with it can kiss my ass.

the not so nice happening that i will tell to you is actually not so bad... for me anyway. for the person on the other end of the stick, well, i guess it IS not so nice. tough.

i guess this all started in the summer of '93. i was in a grade 11 physics advanced credit summer class. it was me and a few of my good highschool girlfriends that were taking it all together at our highschool, sir winston churchill secondary. there were 3 guys in our class that came from vancouver college, the all boys highschool. we got to know them and we all hung out that summer. some of us girls (yes including me) had harmless crushes, but no serious thought was put into it. i generally thought they were pretty nice guys. looking back on it, i still think they were fun times. then again, maybe i just miss the laziness of being a teenager. regardless, the summer went by and we thought we'd never see those guys again... and for the most part we didn't. except for one.

to keep it simple, we'll call him "j.To"... kinda like jennifer lopez' new nickname "j.Lo" hehehehe.

now j.To would be spotted every so often after summer school ended... at the mall, driving downtown, at the movies... pretty much anywhere. and yes, every so often if i did get to talk to him for more than a few seconds, we'd somehow manage to exchange digits so we could all hook up "like a reunion or something." well, he wasn't a horrible guy or anything. so i thought.

let's zip through from then to now. as of probably 3 years ago, when i was running into him at least once every summer, there was a weird cycle that was going on. i'd run into him, we'd talk over coffee or a snack, then he'd be calling me every other day, constantly asking me what i was doing on the weekend. i know this might sound vain of me, but i'm assuming that he was wanting to ask me on a date. most times i'd decline, so i guess i really wouldn't know for certain, but on the few incidences i accepted, i felt like he was trying to take our friendship to a higher level. after seeing him in person about three times -- running into him, having coffee with him, then finally accepting to go to some social scene with him -- i'd always feel this compelling urge to just cut all ties to him. there was just something too creepy about him. plus he's mayabang. so that's how the cycle would run, ending with me just not returning his calls and starting again the following summer with us accidentally running into each other.

i guess i was a dork to think that every year he'd be a bit improved, but he didn't and hasn't. i guess it was just too nice of me to think he would. so finally i did something about it. last summer, i swore to myself that if the cycle ever happened again, i'd end it properly.

so i inevitably ran into him sometime in the end last summer. we went out for coffee. we even went to a club i like called sonar. then the creepiness began...

he bought me a blue paul frank hoody that he knew i was going to buy. when i heard this, i figured i didn't want it that badly anymore. i didn't accept it.
he made me a mix cd that he thought i'd like, full of gushy mushy love songs. i liked two songs on it. but knowing it was from him just made me want to move to a different country and change my name. i tried to return it to him at his work, but he wasn't there. so instead, i gave it to sabby. she likes it good.
he invited me to "grab a bite to eat" with his friends, saying it'd be just a casual get-together. it ended up i was invited to a christmas dinner, and i felt like his date. i didn't like that so much.
all the while, he'd be telling me of the "hookups" he's got on almost any line of clothing i'd want. he gloated about how his uncle was going to buy some new bmw and that he was going to drive it down to cali for him or something. i wasn't listening really. either way, this part was a bit tiresome and annoying. something was going to happen soon.

when i got back from san fran this january, he called. i ignored. he called again. i was "too busy" to call back. yet again he called. my voicemail was on the fritz (thank goodness). then i finally decided to talk to him, but he says he had to call me back. that's fine i thought. then about 8 minutes later, i get a call from sabby saying that j.To wanted to meet up with her for some tea, to talk about me. then j.To calls me back saying that he's just gonna chill at chapters and read a few magazines. hmmmmm.

sabby tells me that his whole plan was that he wanted to "rekindle" any feelings that i had for him so long ago. the only reason why he never talked to me about it was that i never seemed to give him a chance to. ummm, let's recap. i had a harmless crush on him in the 10th grade. that was 8 years ago. he must think that he has a chance because i just got out of a relationship. i don't think so. to any girls reading this, let me give you a tip: ignoring a guy doesn't work if all he honestly thinks is that you've been busy washing you hair for the last 6 months. they just won't get it.

so tonight, i pretty much told him that he was a dork to even think he had a chance. i finally told him that he doesn't impress me and that if anything, he's only been successful in not impressing me. i think i might have been mean, but i also think that it's pretty stupid of him to think that i am just all nice.